Falling
by Animegoil
Summary: CHAPTER 6: Subaru and Kamui have comforted each other through nightmares, holding on to each other since there's no one else to love. But when Seishirou and Fuuma appear, will they betray each other for the ones they truly love most? SxS SxK FxK SxF
1. Enveloping Dark

**Hello!A couple things about this fic beforehand:**

**This is a Subaru/Kamui, Seishirou/Subaru, Fuuma/Kamui andFuuma/Seishirou. Started out as a one shot, and developed into something longer, but as of now I haven't finished it, and am not sure where to take it.**

**Full of angst, and fluff, and flangst.**

**This happens after book... shoot, i think it was 13. When Fuma and Kamui face off for like a sec, and Fuman once again begins his little molesting ritual of poor Kamui, and he licks his tears off and whatever... end result, Kamui's been in bed for a while, and his ribs are broken. Subaru's right eye in bandaged, and he's all taking care of Kamui deal, so that's where I got the idea from. Cause I think that Subaru and Kamui are so cute when they're together! Although I like Seishiro and Subaru too. And Kamui and Fuuma. What major fangirl doesn't?**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

_**Falling**_

* * *

_Rain. Pounding footsteps that slapped across the wet ground. A fog that whispered and curled around your ear, seducing you with its eerie lightness and gentle touch. He was running, his face pained, strained. Trying to reach something, fighting to reach it._

_But no matter how hard he ran, his body unbinding in its effort to keep reaching... he couldn't move. The face in front of him, the stoic body leaning casually against the cherry tree in front of him, was only receding._

_The darkness pressed closer, suffocating. He couldn't breathe... He strained harder, but for all his perseverance, he couldn't get closer. The one whom he had given his heart to, standing in front of him, just watching... he couldn't reach._

_His body slowed down abruptly, almost tripping over itself, as the young man finally fell forward, exhausted. Suddenly, strong, large hands slid under his chin, lifting it gently. The dark-haired boy slid his eyes open slowly, looking up to find the taller man in front of him, kneeling._

_He'd tried so hard to reach him, and now he was here. A small, soft smiled danced upon his lips as the hands brought him up gently, settling him in a sitting position on the older man's knee, still kneeling. The young man rested his head peacefully on the older man's shoulder, closing his eyes._

_"Seishirou..."_

_The dark-haired young man felt so content here, cradled by Seishirou... His warm, supporting body just held him as his shaky breath slowed, exhaustion ever-present._

_The former veterinarian's lips tugged into a chilling sneer, his hand inconspicuously sliding into the pocket of his black coat, withdrawing a thin, small knife._

_"Subaru... open your eyes," he whispered, almost lovingly, but a thread of ice slit through his voice. The young boy opened his eyes, so trusting of his object of affection that he did not catch the thread of ice. He would do anything that Seishirou told him._

_But as a flash of silver flew in front of his eyes, and searing, brutal pain filled his consciousness, a scream burst out of his throat. Betrayal, and pain, a broken heart._

_The diminutive knife was stabbed cruelly in a twisting swing of the wrist. Crimson droplets slipped out, slowly, suddenly growing in multitude as the silver object of execution was wrenched out, along with a another pained half-scream. Blood. Pouring freely, cascading, beautiful in its own sadistic right._

_"Seishirou... I... loved you... why..." Subaru murmured, his breathing ragged, his body uncontrollable in its dying trembling. Blood trickled down his slender chin, joining the rest that had spilled from his chest. His heart beat relentlessly, failing in its perseverance to retain its purpose, pulsing blood, even through the gaping hole through itself. His question. Why... why had this man done this, when the young boy loved him so much?_

_"Why? Because... I don't," the cold voice, somehow filled with inflections of twisted love, lowered, and the older man's head leaned forward, capturing Subaru's lips in a lovingly bittersweet kiss, blocking the dying boy crucial breaths. Tears flowed sweetly from the young boy's dulling eyes, captured in the kiss as well._

_Seishirou lifted his face, his lips dripping red.Subaru coughed feebly again, blood spurting into the air from his wide open mouth. His eyes were closed, the peaceful, yet pained expression on his pallid face a token of remembrance to the dark haired man._

Subaru Sumeragi suddenly shot up in bed, shaking, tears falling and dripping so numerously from his eyes that the blankets being gripped violently were already dampening.

His dull eyes grew darker, his hands grasping his head as he shook it, denying everything he'd just seen. Pain expressed itself in short sobs and growls. His eyes shut closed and he sat on the silken sheets, rocking lightly.

"Subaru...?" the quiet plea and soft touch on his shoulders forced the head of the Sumeragi clan to spring his eyes open and swivel around.

"It must have been a bad dream..." the smaller boy whispered empathetically, his eyes reflecting his experience with nightmares, for he too had them, haunting him and making night as cruel as day.

Subaru's tears didn't lessen, but it lightened his heart somewhat to know that he was here, the young boy, amethyst eyes shining. It was comforting to know that someone else here shared similar pain.

"K-Kamui..." it was a cry for help, for forgiveness, for the pain to relent. Kamui nodded and wrapped his arms delicately around Subaru as much as his wounds would allow.Subaru cried silently onto the other Seal's arms. Somewhere in his subconscious he realized that Kamui shouldn't have been out of his bed, he was still gravely wounded, but his need for reassurance made the thought almost insignificant.

"Was it about... Seishirou?" Kamui, intuitive as always, pressed the otherman closer, his fingers lingering regretfully over the bandages that covered Subaru's right eye. He nodded slowly, feeling lost and hurt, the emotions so vividly described in his dream burning in him.

Kamui was unsure what else to say. He... he could never say it would be alright, because he himself doubted that. It was like a lingering scent in the air, the knowledge of doubt. He couldn't say it was alright, because like he'd lost Kotori, Subaru had lost his sister, dead at the hands of the one they loved most. It wasn't alright, and it would never be alright, the young leader of the Dragons of Heaven squeezed his eyes shut, the pain in his chest becoming physical as his broken ribs pressed painfully against Subaru's chest.

He was destiny, he was fate, he was the one. The one who could choose the outcome of the end of the world. Yet he was powerless to protect the ones he loved, it was too late for that. It hurt, it pained him and haunted him and every time he found himself if a battle he wondered, had he been stronger, would Kotori still be alive? Would Fuuma... still be himself?

But holding Subaru like this eased his mind somehow... and Kamui felt himself relax, instead focusing on the pain that Subaru's tears caused him.

The olderman buried his face in Kamui's soft hair, trying to withdraw all the comfort possible. His breathing calmed, his tense body relaxed slowly, the images of Seishirou vibrant as ever, but somehow.. fading. The pain was fading, lying there in Kamui's gentle, understanding embrace.

It'd been a long time since he'd been comforted like this, and yet there was something almost painful about it. Seishirou used to comfort him like that. Why? Why did everything remind him of Seishiro? Everything he'd lost, everything he had. Kamui. The love he felt for Kamui was so like the love he'd felt for Seishiro. Not as strong, granted, his heart would always, forever and ever, belong to the tall, mysterious Sakurazuka. Always...

But Kamui understood his pain, and just knowing that someone had gone through the same thing he had connected him deeply to the young, pained violet-eyed boy. He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until something soft met the back of his head and a warm cheek touched his.

Kamui felt Subaru's body fall limp, finally relaxed, and lowered him back in the bed, feeling the pressure of having been awake for so long and having traveled from his own bed weighing him down heavily. Unable to fight it, he laid down next to Subaru, feeling inexplicably at peace, and so tired...

He truly looked so innocent, so undeserving of all that pain, Subaru thought, watching the young boy. Not even out of high school, and his life had been living hell for the longest time. Even worse as of late. But all of their lives were being turned upside down. None of the Seals or the Harbingers or any of the others who were involved with them had had easy pasts, or were having easy presents. But it still wasn't fair. Kamui was so young...

He closed his eyes, feeling Kamui's body next to him, his arms still half-draped across him in the earlier embrace. His uncomfortably warm cheek pressed against Subaru's own, his face just centimeters away from his, the shallow breathing and slightly trembling body signs of the young Seal's physical state. He was feverish, Subaru realized, and opened his eyes to study the face with more concern than before.

The slightly parted lips, allowing for the shallow rasps of breathing and the pale, flushed face didn't bode well with the olderman. A pale hand, ungloved, reached out and stroked Kamui's slender, childish face. Beautiful. The raven hair smooth against his face, the added warmth of the small boy's arms across his chest. He glanced down momentarily, checking to see that the bandages wrapped around the boy's broken ribs were still in place and hadn't reopened.

"Thank you, Kamui," he whispered, mindful that he was asleep. But he felt obliged to thank the boy for the peace of mind he gained when he was with him.

Slowly, he turned so that he was facing Kamui directly, wrapping an arm over the smaller boy, with the intentions to keep him warm, and safe. Kamui slept on, obviously and rightly exhausted, and Subaru felt his own eyelids lowering in compliance to his wish to sleep.

He would have no nightmares this time.

* * *

**First of all... Unbeta'ed. Unrevised and unedited. So the pointing out of mistakes woudl be appreaciated.**

**Second, this is my first X fic. In case you coudln't tell (note sarcam, I'm pretty sure you can). Apparently I didn't do too bad with the characters though, so I'm happy. **

**Third... does anyone want a second chapter? Or more than that? Cause I don't know whether to contiue this. I just read books 13-15 and so was in a compltely X mood, and I love Subaru and kamui. And Kakkyo and... well, he may be straight, but I think him and Fuuma are interesting. And just about everyone :squeals: ack, they're all so hot...not that that's all I care about, cause I love them as characters too, it just helps that they're good looking as well :laugh:**

**Whoops... out of topic, so anyway... I don't know, any suggestions and comments woud be appreaciated to know how I did with my first X fic. Just had to write it though. Hope you liked.**


	2. Coming Despair

**Thank you for all your reviews. They were encouraging, so well, thanks! Sorry for the long time it took to update, but my computer was dead for two weeks, and then i had other fics to update... sry. I hope you like the nxt chapter! **

_

* * *

_

_**Falling **_

* * *

"Good morning, Arashi!" the cheerful voice burst into the kitchen, accompanied by a young girl barely high-school aged. Sorata smiled at the young woman who spared him a glance almost unnoticeably softened before turning back to the knife and food in front of her. 

"Be quiet, or you'll wake Subaru and Kamui."

"Oh, yes, yes, sorry about that," Sora's cheerful face turned sheepish, and he gave a glance to the staircase with a concerned expression. The young monk then sighed and turned to the young short-haired girl already seated at the table, "Will you tell the teachers about... well, Kamui not being able to attend school and all?"

"Of course," Yuzuhira replied, spooning her breakfast into her mouth.

"Sora..." Arashi began, and the tall man was immediately all ears, "Would you check on the two of them..." she didn't have to say anything else, Sora knew already.

"Yes, I know, I'm worried about them too. Subaru's been acting depressed lately, I mean, more depressed than he usually is, and Kamui..." here, the young monk ran a hand through his short hair, his ever-present concern for the young Seal deepening his eyes,"He's having his problems as well... Do you want me to wake them for breakfast though?"

The female sword-master bit her lip, eyes on the knife as she skillfully cut the onions into thin slices. She had just said that she didn't want the two other Seals to wake, but it would be good for them to eat something...

"If you see it fit," she finally answered.

"Okey-dokey, be back in a sec."

Sora climbed the stairs quickly, and in a moment was at Kamui's door, though the Sumeragiheirhad been keeping the younger Seal company and sleeping in the other bed lately. Sora didn't object, he felt there was a lot of healing to be done with the two of them, and a lot of it could only be accomplished by the other. They'd been through such alike situations... He shook his head and turned the cold doorknob slowly, peeking his head in to give a quick glance into the room.

Subaru and Kamui were sleeping together, the onmyouji's arms wrapped protectively around the pale violet-eyed boy, soundly asleep. Sora thought it was an adorable sight, and could only wish that he could once have that same opportunity to share such a tender moment with Arashi.

He couldn't wake them up, he realized, it just didn't feel right. He knew they both had been having rather rough nights, what with Kamui feverish because of his crushed ribs, and Subaru just being permanently depressed over that Dragon of Earth, he knew any kind of peaceful sleep they could get was almost sacred.

"They're asleep, and I decided it was best that way," the monk announced upon coming back into the kitchen, Arashi eating quietly, and Yuzuhira gathering her schoolbag and preparing to leave. The serious-faced young woman just nodded knowingly and Yuzuhira's eyes darted upstairs.

"Are they alright?"

"Well, I think Kamui was looking a bit flushed, but that's just the fever. They both looked downright exhausted," Sora answered the younger Seal, patting Inuki, who had just appeared besides her.

"I think Subaru had a nightmare. There was crying last night. I think it was Subaru's..." Arashi announced quietly, and both of the other Seals looked at her.

"Oh, I thought it was just my imagination..." Yuzuhira muttered barely audibly, and then took up her school bag and left, with Sorata calling out a parting and her responding.

"Things really are getting heavy. And its only getting worse. But I can't help but feel worse for Kamui and Yuzuhira. They're just so young..." Sora murmured solemnly, looking unfocusedly outside. Arashi remained quiet, reflecting on his words.

"Kotori... and Fuuma."

Sora's long face snatched upwards, "Yeah, them too."

Thedark-haired priestess looked at him sorrowfully, and then her eyes averted to some invisible object, "Sometimes..." she paused, swallowing, then continuing in her ever soft-spoken, commanding voice, "Sometimes, I have the strangest feeling..."

"About?"Sora's usually carefree faceurged gently.

"I get the strangest feeling... that we're all going to die..." she whispered.

Sora's breath caught in his throat, and he hastily looked away. He knew what had been predicted of him. That he would protect Kamui until the day he died. And that he would die by the hands of a woman he loved. In other words, he'd be killed by Arashi. He knew this, so clearly it sometimes pained him to think of the future and act as cheerful as was characteristic of him. And worst of all, it couldn't dissuade him from his love for Arashi. It never would, he was fated to die that way.

"Yeah... I do too. But I think, you just might live," his abnormally serious voice just cut out flat through the room, and Arashi could only stare, suddenly frightened of the hidden meanings in his sentence.

"Are you saying... that you won't live?" her unusually gentle voice quavered, much as she tried to control it. The monk gave her no response, choosing to stare at the floor.

"I don't know," he lied.

OoooO

Subaru's eyebrows drew together, his body beginning to slip back into consciousness with the likeness of a meandering moth. Erratically. But he was sure of the small body in his arms, gentle, if strong heat radiating from it, swaying slowly with every breath, as his own body was doing.

"Kamui," he whispered, his forest-green eyes gliding open to the young, tenderly peaceful face of the much younger Seal. He brushed a strand of hair from Kamui's face, as softly as only lovers could.

Kamui remained asleep, and Subaru let him. He didn't want Kamui's young violet eyes to open onto this dreadfully dangerous world, where every shadow was a painful reminder, and death was only around the next corner. He willed Kamui to sleep, where he could protect him from all danger, like he'd been unable to do so to his sister... because he'd never though to protect Hokuto from Seishirouu. But now he knew better. At least he hoped.

Theexorcistclosed his eyes momentarily before withdrawing himself from Kamui's arms, wrapped around Subaru for comfort in the most likely unpleasant sleep he was having, and slowly sat up. He turned to look out the window, aware that it was late, that Yuzuhira was already in her first class, and Kamui had missed another day of school, but, who could worry about school when the whole world was hanging by the mere thread Kamui was faithfully and painfully trying to preserve? He knew that Sora and Arashi were waiting for them to wake up, for Subaru to go downstairs, eat breakfast, and, if Kamui wanted to have some, to bring some up to him. It's not that they had charged him with the duty of taking care of their young leader, but more like Subaru had charged himself with that duty. He would try, the hardest he could, to protect Kamui.

From what? He knew, and yet he didn't. Subaru knew that it was Fuuma from whom he had to guard his amethyst-eyed boy from, but that was just as if Kamui suddenly wanted to keep Subaru from Seishirou, and keep them apart. And much as their meetings would be painful, the deepest part of his heart was crying out in a wrenching wail for the next moment he could gaze into the demonic man's beautiful eyes. Painful. He knew.

Just like he wanted to see Seishirou, he knew that Kamui wanted to see Fuuma. And make him pay for killing Kotori, while wanting to save him for it not being his fault that he was now Kamui's "twin star".

Subaru just sat, staring out the window in the dark room, watching the cherry blossoms fall like rain, soft, powdery rain, making the whole outside world a bittersweet cheerful place. Cherry blossoms... cherry trees... demonic cherry trees... leading to demonic cherry clans, which simply laid straight to Seishirou.

A single crystal tear slipped down onto the mattress, and Subaru started at realizing that he'd been crying. Looking quickly at Kamui to make sure he was still sleeping, he buried his face in his hands, digging them deep into his silken raven hair.

OoooO

"Subaru! Good to see you!" Sora raised his hand in greeting, the other one otherwise occupied with the remaining parts of a bread-like pancake, the fifth one. Subaru merely inclined his head, still feeling tired despite the extra hours of sleep, and sat down.

"How is Kamui?" Arashi beat Sora to asking the much-dreaded question, and Subaru turned his head away.

"He's still asleep. He has a fever," Subaru stuck bread in his mouth as an excuse to not talk anymore.

The young woman's brow furrowed, giving her normally serious face an ever more pensive appearance.

"Poor kid," the Kansai-speakingmonk lamented, "It's gotta be tough for him..."

Subaru nodded without realizing he had. Thankfully, before he'd be forced to make any more conversation, his breakfast was finished, and he raised himself from the table with a weary air and trod back up the stairs.

"Subaru, you know you could be a little less antisocial! You're as bad as Kamui was when I first met him!" the cheerful monk called out behind him, spoon waving in the air, and for his effort, Subaru gave him a small smile, and the cheer fled Sorata's face like it had never been there in the first place.

Subaru knew why. Him smiling was like a sacrilege. It was chilling, a frozen, broken smile, because it was a reflection of pure, soul-rotting sorrow. A smile without happiness and full of pain could only cause pain and be chilling in return. It was a lot like Kamui's smiles, except his hadn't yet reached the extent that Subaru's had, and occasionally broke through to be real smiles.

"Kamui," the onmyouji repeated upon walking back into the dark room. The sun only fell in one patch through the window, everything else bathed in black and white. A mirror of his soul. Black and darkened, the only patch of life in his soul was Seishirou, and now, Kamui.

To his surprise, a small whimper-like sound came from the covers, and Subaru was at Kamui's side in an instant, immediately beginning to stroke the moonlight-soft skin of the younger Seal, lathered in a layer of perspiration.

"What is it?"

"Subaru... I can't breathe..." Kamui's shallow voice coincided with his rasping breaths, his face contorted in pain, and Subaru's heart squeezed at seeing him like this.

Subaru could only whisper, "You'll be alright, it'll pass," and gently caressed the younger boy's face, trying to comfort him. He had no idea what to do. He didn't know how to fix Kamui. He didn't know how to fix anything for that matter, and it weighed heavily on him.

"M-My chest..." Kamui whimpered, his hands spasmodically tightening on te emerald-eyed boy's arm as he fought to breathe right again.

"It's just a spasm, from your ribs trying to heal," Subaru tried to say to help comfort him, ease the fright that was growing in Kamui's beutiful, clear violet eyes, now clouded with fear. Fear of death. He wondered how horrifying it was to not be able to breathe, to feel despair and death engulfing you with every breathless second. He would have tried stroking Kamui's chest, but that would only have caused more pain.

But there were tears of agony running fast down Kamui's cheeks, and Subaru couldn't help but lift him and hold him in his arms, mindful of his chest, but unable to resist trying to comfort him. Why couldn't he ease Kamui's pain? Were they all destined to live in agony like this? Every minute of their lives was torture, all because they were Seals, and there were Harbingers about, and they knew nothing would ever be alright, and Subaru had a fleeting impression on some dreary nights that they wouldn't make it. They wouldn't...

Kamui's breathing suddenly evened out in this new position, the pain gone, and his body relaxed. But Subaru didn't let go; he wanted to stay like this forever.

"I'm fine now, Subaru-kun..." Kamui tried to say, his voice still weak, though mostlywith relief, the fear ebbing away.

"Just stay..." the olderman whispered, wanting to hold on to the last moments of peace they could ever have. Kamui obliged, leaning completely and trustingly on Subaru. He would always trust Subaru, he realized with his new-found feelings for the older Seal.

Subaru sighed, fluttering Kamui's thread-like hair, immersing himself in it, kissing Kamui's warm neck, and he never saw the tall, mysterious shape standing lithely on a branch on the cherry tree outside. The figure gave a tip of his hat to the figures on the bed, knowing full well that the Sumeragi could not see him, then disappeared in the flash of a second, promising to the wind that he'd return.

Kamui withdrew slightly to gaze in Subaru's dulled emerald eyes, but to him, they were clear and beautiful. The onmyouji smiled, just barely, but it was bitter-sweetly heartfelt, and leaned over to brush Kamui's warm lips with his cold ones, before the younger Seal responded by applying pressure, sealing their lips together in a tender kiss before separating andsimply leaning against each other.

* * *

**Aw, they're so cute. And yes, we're going to have dearest Seishi-kun comeing. And In HIS own Time... Fuuma as well. Angst time! **

**To my reviewers! **

**Bitter Green-Tea: Wow, i feel honored that you complemented me like that. I'm glad you though it was so well-written. And I'm sorry, but i just can't seem to do one-shots too well... waaah! Four other of my fics started our as one shots, and now they're all either heading, or over ten chapters. Hehe... **

**Midori:** **Yeah, they're so cute! Glad you liked! Hope you liked this chapter as well. **

**Shinzona: Thanks! Hope you liked this chapter too. O.o that was a really really good description at the bottom of your review... **

**Ginger-Ninja: Not a one-shot any longer, but I don't know how much longer I'll be contnuing it. I have a lot of other fics to work on, after all. -Sigh- But anyway, I was afraid I'd made Subaru and Kamui OOC, and I always try to keep them In Character, but they can be a bit confusing sometimes... like, I think I was stretching it a bit in this chapter... I hope not... **

**Well, well well... Just wait for thte next update! Seishi-kun makes his grand scary appearance! Boo! ...O.o I know... But um, in any case, hope you liked, and there's the purple button below for your comments and then much-appreciated suggestions! **


	3. Healing Light

**Hello! Back again! Hey, I actually met my one month deadline- I only went over by like three days. Well spent days, I might add. Anyway, I fixed as many mistakes as I could find, including the ones you guys pointed out, and some others, so yay! **

**Fuuma makes a short appearance in this chapter. I know you've all been practically begging me to put in Seishirou/Fuuma, and are dyign for them to come up, well don't worry, there'll be pleny of them in the next chapter. **

**That said, here comes the chapter, responses to reviews at the bottom. Thanks for your coments! **_

* * *

_

**Falling **

_**Chapter 3: Healing **_

* * *

Kamui Shiro shaded his jeweled amethyst eyes from the bright sun that threatened to temporarily blind him as he glanced up at the immeasurably bright sky, so cruelly opposite from the way his soul felt. Unclear. Dulled, cloudy, hazy... a permanent fog that choked his very existence. The day was mildly cold, but so much warmer than his heart. 

But for now, that wasn't what he wanted to think about. For now, he wanted to immerse himself in the calmness of nature, the birds chirping happily in the swaying trees, the gentle trickling of an ornamental fountain, the water glistening in the strong heat of the sun.

It was... odd. These moments of peacefulness, especially outside, were quaint. Like a plateau in the climb of an ever-rising mountain. As if the world of fighting to save the earth, tragedies, mortal injuries, flying sentiments and broken hearts had been suspended, giving them the chance to lick their wounds and heal.

Kamuiwished the world would stay suspended forever.

He felt so content, crystal eyes glowing softly, as he looked gently on to his surroundings. Children laughed around him, playing in the half-broken and bent playground, remnants of the recent earthquakes, playing tag and hide and seek. Small, innocent children.

And it was up to Kamui to decide whether they'd live or die.

He bowed his head, willing the passing thought to flee, to hide, to suffocate in the darkness deeper in his mind, and let him be for now. He just wanted to immerse himself in the beautifulness of it all.

Beautiful. Two images came into mind. One was almost instantaneous, and the other faded into being, next to the first. Fuuma and Subaru. Fuuma was beautiful in his mind, he had an internal beauty that shone with his kindness and concern for others, that flowed in his movements and his grace of mind and body. Fuuma didn't have that external beauty that was often associated with Kamui, or even Subaru, but he had something else inside that made him beautiful in Kamui's desperately clinging mind.

Subaru on the other hand, had a sad beauty that shone even on the outside, on his small weary face, a beautiful face, despite the dread that Kamui had of seeing his ruined blind eye, for his beauty was external as much as internal. Although inside, it was different. Beautiful, in a frozen sense. It was like looking at an icy world, entrancing and commanding, but so very delicate and cold. That was Subaru's beauty, that of ice.

Kamui knew this, knew the difference, felt the tugging pull of his love for both men, but could not decide. They both meant so much to him.

Birds alighted on the wooden park bench, hopping closer to Kamui, looking at him with almost visible curiosity, and he smiled lightly.

"Kotori..."

He leaned back against the wooden park bench, feeling his fever weighing him down, resting his head upon his shoulder and sighing lightly, feeling sort of constricted by the fact that he had to stay sitting on the bench no matter what happened thanks to his inability to walk.

From afar, lighting on the top of streetlight, a tall, bulky body watched with an almost unnerving smirk behind small, round sunglasses, in a disturbing contrast to the almost playful, innocent look his modern, casual clothes gave him. There was a tinge of something else in it his face too, but no one would have been able to figure out what it was unless the tall Harbinger had wanted them to.

The Leader of the Seven Dragons of Earth. Kamui's twin star.

Fuuma.

Kamui felt something watching him through his closed eyes, a familiar presence, but before he could look about, it was gone. People passed by, mothers with children, fathers heading to work. No one his age, since they were all in school, no one he knew. He didn't bother opening his eyes now, it was gone, but nonetheless left a strange feeling in the air.

There was a change in the population. Less people in the parks than usual. The reason for the lack of people was easy; a number were dead. The young boy's head remained leaned back against the back of the bench, eyes closed, as if weighed down by all his thoughts and responsibilities.

He was waiting for short, sure footsteps to reach his ears. Then he would look up.

But instead, he was met with soft, tentative steps that reached his ears, and out of confusion, he looked up. It was a little girl, curly red hair falling over her face and ears, despite the pigtails that fought to hold it back. She was small, still a toddler, no more than seven, yellow, lacy dress fluttering lightly in the wind. Shining, bright eyes, as large as jewels. Kotori's eyes.

"Are you hurt?"

Kamui shook his head without thinking twice, staring at the red-head. The little girl blinked her huge eyes and plopped herself on the bench, looking all the while at the small-built older boy on the bench with open curiosity, and then flashed a wide, innocent smile. The kind only untainted, happy children could have. The kind of smile Fuuma and Kotori and he had had when they little, and still happy. Especially Kotori... dead Kotori...

"Wow, you're pretty!" Kamui blushed despite himself, still not used to comments like that despite how often he was told that. She paused, "But you looksad..."

The black-haired high school student let an ironic, remorsefully sad smile grace his lips, "Yeah. I've had some bad things happening lately."

The young girl remained quiet, smiling sympathetically at him and patting his hand childishly.

"Why did you say my name?" she asked after a while, her voice small, broken with that lack of words that children had as they tried to overly pronounce every word, smooth in its youth.

Kamui blinked blindly, suddenly aware that the birds had not fled from the bench, but only made room for the small girl, "I didn't."

"You said, 'Kotori'. My name is Kotori," she cocked her head to the side, waiting for an explanation, "Do I know you? Do you know me?"

Kamui suddenly laughed below his breath, an almost inaudible chuckle, and smiled at the little red-head girl, one of his rare genuine smiles.

"No, I don't know you. I had a friend, named Kotori. She died."

"Oh, so her name was Kotori?" she said as if recognizing her, then turned back to Kamui, "Is that why you're so sad? Because she died? How did she die?"

The pained youth looked away, "You don't want to know, trust me."

"Did your best friend, her brother, kill her?"

Kamui's head snapped up, "H-How-?" came the strangled response.

The little girl smiled brightly, "A guy told me. He was taaaall, and he said he knew you. And the girl that you called Kotori."

Kamui's breathing quickened, hands tightening, his eyes unfocused. He swallowed, a vain way of regaining composure, "What was his name?"

The green-eyed girl that so looked like Kotori, and furthermore shared her name, put her small fingers up to her mouth, thinking.

"His name was Fuuma, I think."

The violet-eyed boy's heart skipped a beat, "Where did you meet him? Which way did he go?" he said, the urgency ringing strenuously in his voice.

The little girl shrugged, "Here, in the park, a while ago. I think he went...that way?" she pointed to the West, "But I'm not sure. He was fast."

Kamui's head sank back into his hands, his eyes wide. Yet there was nothing he could do about it. He wasn't even healed yet, he couldn't even walk, much less chase after Fuuma. But somehow, he felt like he was losing something, time, opportunity, _something_.

"Did you like him?" she asked suddenly. Kamui looked at her bright gaze, full of youth and innocence, no blood on her hands, no pain in her eyes, no sinister meaning behind her words. So different from the eyes he'd looked at lately.

He hesitated quite visibly, warring emotions and thoughts in his heart, "I did. I.. do. A lot," the young boy admitted quietly, and then continued with pained determination, "And I'm going to get him back."

The red-haired Kotori smiled, "I think he likes you too. He had a pretty look in his eyes when he mentioned you."

If possible, Kamui's still wide eyes widened further, and his heart squeezed, with hope, and pain, and betrayal, and, most painfully, love. And he couldn't help but respond.

"Really?"

She nodded happily, jumping from the bench and petting the small pigeons and birds, "Yeah! He said he wants to see you again, cause he said there's going to be a _reunion_ at Nakashogo in a couple weeks. It sounds fun!"

The Seal's eyes narrowed at her words, his heart sinking. A reunion? That could only mean another battle... another opportunity for death to spring up and rob him of those he loved. At Nakashogo? But why there? That was only a city district, without any barriers even. What was Fuuma planning? He looked down at his shirt, unbuttoned at the top, and could see the hint of the bandages that encircled him down to his waist. Maybe in a couple weeks he'd be healed enough to battle... and maybe win.

The birds twittered madly, and the young Dragon of Heaven glanced up to find the girl had disappeared. Looking up, he found her small figure ahead, across the busy intersection of the road, and blanched as he saw the tall figure looming behind her, a sinister grin on his face, the amusement in his eyes poison to Kamui's soul.

Fuuma.

Kamui's heart iced over with one look, and his panicked mind feared for the girl's safety. What was Fuuma doing?

But he only patted her head playfully, and she laughed and grinned up at him, as the tall young man gave Kamui an amused look, fully knowing how badly he was playing the crystal-eyed boy, his utter dominance of him. Then the young girl apperead to catch sight of Kamui and waved a goodbye, apparently unaware of the danger posed by the figure behind her, before a car passed by, blocking him of his view of them, and as it reappeared, only the girl was left, who turned and ran into an apartment building.

The dark-haired boy wrapped his arms around himself, already dreading the outcome of the next fight, already willing himself deeper into his subconscious, like he had when Kotori had died and Fuuma changed into his twin star, anything to make the pain disappear. His body and mind were shaken by the brief but powerfully threatening glimpse at his former best friend.

He had hoped for a respite, for it to stop, for the danger and fear to recede long enough for him to be able to enjoy the time he had with Subaru, after all of what they'd gone through- his train of thought was broken, as he was engulfed by despair so black and dense his breath stopped, his chest compressing painfully inside him.

The knowledge that another battle was going to ensue, in only a couple weeks, just barely healed from his last confront with his former friend, that there was another chance for carnage and tragedy just around the bend- was devastating. This was what they all had to live with, everyday.

And the worst part was that it wasn't just him who was endangered, it was everyone else. Yuzuriha, Aoki, Karen, Arashi, Sora, Subaru! All of them, in danger, tied to a fate that rested solely in his, Kamui's hands. His slender arms enfolded his delicate chest even tighter.

Then confident, though soft footsteps reached his ears, slowing as they neared him, and he looked up, knowing without a guess who it was, feeling relief so intense it left him washed out for a moment.

"Kamui?" the soft voice broke his thoughts like splintering glass, but the young Seal couldn't bring himself to smile, even at the sight of the concerned emerald eye bearing upon him, other eye still invisible underneath the gauze shileding it, "Does your chest hurt?" he asked, kneeling in front of Kamui.

"Ah... a little," the sword-bearer lied, unwrapping his arms from around himself, "But I'm fine now."

The omnyoji looked on softly at him, and handed him a vanilla ice-cream cone, keeping one for himself, and looked on disapprovingly at Kamui for a moment before sighing, eyes closed, and sitting down next to him, "I told you to wear a jacket. It's cold, and you still have a fever," the taller man remonstrated gently, lifting the black jacket discarded on the park bench and placing it around Kamui's shoulders.

"Sorry," Kamui closed his eyes, leaning in to Subaru's gentle touch, before resting against the Sumeragi's side, and closing his eyes. His worries faded away, the resolution strong in his mind that he'd tell him what he found out later, but right now, there was nothing to worry about, and they could enjoy themselves for once.

"Are you going to eat the ice cream I got you?" Subaru asked in his soft voice, a hint of detached pain always present in the undercurrent.Violet eyes blinked open, glancing at the snow-fluffy beige colored confection.

"Oh, yeah."

Reluctantly at the unfamiliarity of the action, Kamui bent down to lick the cold vanilla scoop, pink tongue lapping away at a flavor that he hadn't tasted in who knew how long.

It was so weird, to be doing something as superficial, as normal, and blithe as eating ice-cream at a park on a sunny day, with children laughing around them, and flowers and plants, and a blue sky. No blood, no pain, no reminiscence of painful, heart-breaking memories, no death threats, and hurtful, twisted looks, or sinister purposes, or the heaviness of responsibility, and the doubt of choice, and life, and the sacrilege of living.

"Odd..." Subaru murmured, voicing his thoughts out loud, something quite unlike him. Kamui nodded against his shoulder, too busy with his ice-cream to verbally answer.

Then the light violet-eyed boy gave a side-glance to the man besides him, body still slung against him for support, "I didn't know you liked ice-cream?"

Subaru would have smiled, but for the heaviness that was constant in himself and the sorrow and painful agony that had robbed the expression from his soul, and he had never been the type to fake his emotions in any case. As it was, his lips were only tugged a minimal fraction of an inch upward, and that was Subaru Sumeragi's smile.

"Hokuto loved it. The fridge was always stocked with it. She liked vanilla. I liked chocolate, but somehow, now..." he tipped the vanilla cone back to him, licking the top, signaling his unexplained change in taste. It was probably an unconscious attempt at honoring his sister and keeping her remembrance.

"Wow... I've never heard you speak of your sister... after that day," the night-haired boy said softly, leaning his head momentarily on Subaru's shoulder as if to comfort.

And suddenly Subaru stopped. Had he just mentioned Hokuto out loud, to someone else? He had... he stared hard at the back of Kamui's head, his single dark, dull emerald eye watching him take another almost-happy lick at the dessert.

He had never mentioned his sister to anyone after her painful death. Never. Not many people knew how she had died, and he'd never bothered to talk about it. It was too painful. How... he couldn't bring himself to believe that after all these years of carefully hiding the truth and avoiding the subject, he'd spilled out one very relevant fact about her and himself, in such a casual, unexpected way. Was this... what they called healing?

Kamui knew about her, and somehow, that had been the reason he'd slipped up. He knew that the boy already knew about, from that day, when he's sunk so far into his soul that Subaru had had to rescue him, and showed him his past. Had knowing that Kamui knew brought his defenses down?

But it felt good, to finally be able to talk freely about Hokuto, and know that he wasn't going to be judged, or pitied falsely, or that he'd have to lie about her death, because then there would be scorn and hatred aimed at Seishirou, and despite what he'd done to him and his twin sister, he didn't want anyone ever talking bad about him. It felt good to be released from this self-inflicted oppression. Only Kamui...

"Kamui?"

Bright amethysts glanced upon him, brighter than he'd seen them lately. Subaru smiled inwardly, bringing him out for a while had been a good change of pace.

"Thanks. I haven't been able to talk about her in a long time..."

Kamui smiled, and Subaru was filled with a strange, yet distantly remembered feeling of happiness and fulfillment at seeing the young boy's beautiful, shining smile. When Kamui smiled, the world suddenly became brighter. It made his frozen heart thaw which each passing second that he was with the smaller boy.

And Kamui himself was feeling rewarded, happy that Subaru had found some release, and begun the path to healing, and that he'd opened up to him. He was happy, and content, and in response, licked his ice-cream again. His heart felt warm.

"It's melting," he grinned lightly. Subaru blinked and turned to it, hurriedly licking away the dripping edges, melting droplets covering Subaru's mouth and chin as it slipped downward, giving Subaru such a comical appearance Kamui couldn't help but laugh.

Another gift, a blessing so undeserved. His laugh. Small, and timid, but heartfelt, a flower in the arctic, water in the desert. An expression of pleasure that the omnyoji hadn't heard in a long time, and opened a new side of Kamui, the carefree, happy, kind, if shy, youth that he could have been, had he been uninvolved in the end of the world. The sound seemed to awaken something in Subaru that had been sleeping since his life had taken a turn for the worse. Happiness, innocence, pleasure. A new outlook on life was awakened, springing forward to part shreds of the veil that had shrouded his vision.

The dark man wiped the sticky vanilla off his chin with a napkin as Kamui's laugh was abruptly cut off by a grimace and a strained groan. The smaller boy clutched his chest, breathing turning ragged.body shaking constrainedly.

"Kamui!" Subaru turned to place his hands on the boy's shoulders, griping them to steady him as the young boy sucked in a sharp intake of breath as a stake of pain shot through his half-healed ribs with the likeness of a thousand blazing needles piercing through his lungs and heart.

"I guess I shouldn't have laughed..." he whispered, a thin sheen of sweat forming across his forehead. His hands remained clutched around his chest, though he straightened against Subaru's hold.

"Do you want to go back?" the emerald eyed man stroked the back of Kamui's head as he spoke. In truth, he hadn't needed bother with the question, since he was planning to take him back anyway for a checkup, whether he wanted it or not. But he'd rather Kamui agree first.

A part of him welcomed the idea of feeling safe in the CLAMP school's fortified hold, where he could sleep tranquilly, a desire that had abruptly overcome him, but another side didn't want to part from the peacefulness and everyday feeling he'd gotten today, the freedom he'd encountered.

But his body took precedence, and he nodded almost imperceptibly.

Subaru swung him up gently into his arms, cradling his body closer to the former exorcist's for support. Subsequently carrying him calmly but swiftly out of the park, the same way they had come, he ignored for the second time that day the curious glances thrown their way at a tall, mysterious fair-faced young man, the left half of his face covered in thick bandages, carrying a pale, pretty-faced half-conscious boy, bandages visible underneath his shirt, who should have been in school at the moment.

* * *

**Wow, I got a lot more reviews than I was expecting.** **-tear- Thank you! -snaps and stops beign overly dramatic- Not my style really to be dramatic. -laughs- Unless it's playing around. Then I'm a little TOO dramatic... hehe... **

**Miriya V.: Thanks! I don't know if this chapter measured up in imagery quite as much as the last two, but you tell me. I realyl loved your fic too, though, I mean _really_ loved it. . Oh and yes, I fixed 'the Yuzuhira'. Took out the the (what was I thinkign when i wrote that?) and fixed her name (I feel soo bad getting her name wrong- ugh- I could have sworn I'd gotten it right. It's such a long name, -laugh- I only did get the h and r confused though --u) **

**Ginger Ninja- Thanks, and I hope you liked this chapter too! **

**Shinzona- I laughed SOOO hard when you said '**And jealous Sei-chan had to ruin SubaruxKamui's moment, neh! He's gotten it so bad for Suby :)**' I swear I was crackign up! Suby! He;s got it so bad for Suby... -cracks up again- Aawwwww! They're so cute -huggles them painfully- ah whoops. Anyway, I'm not quite sure how I'm going to have Seishy and Fuuma 'barging' into Subaru and Kamui, but I have a vagues idea... ugh, if you have ANY suggestions, please tell me, cause I'm at a bit of a loss, haha. Haven't planned that far ahead. This fic only started as a short Subaru/Kamui cause I coudlnt' resist the urge to write a little thing with them! Oh and yes... there will be a bit of a Sei/Fuuma pairing, but you know... it's about as odd as you can expect it, with it being THEM TWO anyway...-sweatdrop- yup...**

**RisuMusume: I love Yuuto! He rocks! Aw... -sorry she's not writing about him- hm... i think I'll stick him in odd places in here. Hehe... -can't resist- He's so cool... I loved when he was fighting against Sorata in the beg of the series! -squeal, laughs- Yeah, so it was an odd Fuuma appearance in this chap, but there'll be a lot more of him next chap. **

**Sadako Sumeragi: -happy- Thanks! yay! -squeal- Yeah, I love Subaru/Kamui! They're just tooo cute! Waaay too cute. Heck they just are. -starry eyed- -can't stop ranting about how completely kawaii they are- **

**Chris Pwure: Yay, I'm loved! Yup, but i fixed the names. I just cannot do really long names unless they flow or I memorize them -sweatdrop- Thanks for reading, hope you liked this chapter! **

**Jaquiel: Oooh! Pretty name! Is that your real name or just a penname? Cause I love it... -claps- Pretty! And thanks a lot for your complements! Hope you liked this chapter as much too. What do you think about a little Fuuma/Seishirou? And are there any other pairings you'd like included? **

**La Varla-chan: Woohoo, thanks, hope you liked this chapter! **

**Arrhythmic Song: Yeah, I personally liked describing Subaru's smile too. I'm so glad you think I'm portraying them correctly, now I just have to keep it up -sweatdrop- jeez, X characters are so hard to keep in character... maybe cause they're so human, they're really two-sided. -ponders- anyway, are you saying there aren't that many Su/Ka Su/Sei Ka/Fu fangirls? -faints- Cause you make it sound like there aren't that many! -faints again- How can they not love them! Lol, hahahaha. I'd like to read your fics when I have the time, they sound interesting! -grin- That's going to be a painful bubble to pop. Once again, if you have ANY suggestions about how you want Fuuma and Seishirou to come in, cause I'm at a loss! .! Haven't planned it out, so any ideas would be LOVED.**

**Angel Kamui: Pretty name! I got a picture of him with his pretty angel wings today... Aw, don't cry! Jeez, I need to stop making people cry -not first fic in which people have said they almost cried- Actually I think someone _did_ cry in Bittersweet... wow. Ah, the suffering of incomplete fics! The pain! I share your feelings. And I am continuing. I hate leaving a fic unfinished, bugs the HECK out of me... even worse sometimes, is when the author writes some lame ending kinda tyign it together half way through the story cause they gave up but wanted to officially 'end' it. The evil! **

**DVL: Hi! You came to review another one of my fics? Yay! -laugh- angst, fluff, what else am I good for? Just like in my Gil/Ram one. I didn't know you liked X. Yay! -hugs another X lover- Lol, don't worry, I can't say that Subaru/Kamui will stop, but I can tell you that Seishirou and Fuuma will come in large next chapter. Do you want them as a pairing? Well, too bad, cause they are. Not like a lovey-dovey pairing, midn you, but... well, what you can expect from them two. A bit twisted. Ack! -grabs pokign hand before keels over from laughing- It hurts, it hurts! hahahaha... haha... ha. **

**Thanks for your reivews... Dang, there was somethign I was going to say... grr... forgot it... oh well... Wow, i didn't expect this many reviews, considering there were only 4 for the first chapter and now there's like... 15 for the second? YAY! **

**Oh and member, Any comments on how you want the storyline to go, or pairinngs or any suggestions/corrections/comments are REALLY appreaciated, and the purple button loves them, as do I. It'll be about another month till I update, so be patient! **


	4. Hidden Emotions

**Well… here's the next chapter. Did I make the monthly deadline? I have no idea. I probably won't because I'm so swamped and stuck with my other fics, and I started a couple more in honor of Christmas (A Zima/Dita from Chobits and a Dark/Krad Daisuke/Satoshi one from DNAngel) Check them out if you want to when I actually post them… which will be before Christmas. Sooooo….**

**Anyway, I did update, and here it is. Short, but that keeps me able to update more frequently. . Should make all the other chapters in my other fics shorter, and maybe then I could keep up with my deadlines… **

**Disclaimer for the past three chapters and this one: I don't own X's plotline or characters, I'm only borrowing them to make them hit rock bottom and pair them up. It's a sadistic fangirl's greatest pastime. **

**Hope you enjoy it, and excuse any OOCness, though I try to keep them in character. **

**THANKS FOR ALL MY REVIEWERS SUPPORT! **

* * *

_**Falling**_

* * *

Smoke curled up daintily with the innocence of snow, contrasting its poisonous danger, from a burning cigar, ember glowing eerily. A breath was exhaled, and more puffs of smoke floated up, gravity defying. 

A tall, dark, mysterious man sat alone on the top of an earthquake-ruined office building, watching the broken district from behind oval-shaped sunglasses. There was a murdering, sinister feeling drifting around him to the rhythm of a sakura petal.

His mind could not detach itself from the single image of Subaru, and his twisted eyes became possessive, _his_ Subaru, with the leader of the Seals, the first Kamui, in a loving embrace.

Jealousy was present in the assassin's almost nonexistent heart, but much as he refuted it, denied it, ignored it... or simply didn't realize was there, jealousy had a deep hold over the ironically naïve Sakurazukamori. He convinced himself that it was Subaru who had obsessed over him, chasing him throughout all these years for revenge, and Seishirou had done nothing more than watch, and play along amusedly. But he was kidding himself, though he had failed to comprehend it yet— he was just as obsessed and controlled by Subaru as the youth was for him.

Anger. He had not thought himself capable of an emotion like that anymore. But then again, jealousy was flirting inside him unknowingly. He stared out, his whirlwind of thoughts for the pale, moonlight-faced Sumeragi invisible on the surface of his long stoic face.

But then a hand snaked around the large man's neck, and he started, face swiveling around at a speed only a trained fighter possessed, hands already holding the inverted pentagram tarot cards.

"Don't be so hasty. You wouldn't want to hurt me, would you?" a sly, young voice, deep with maturity and darkness laughed good-humoredly. A voice that had once been the epitome of calm kindness and concern.

"Of course not," Sakurazuka chuckled, surprise pushed aside roughly.

"...Hm..." the tall teenager stared at him, searching him with the skill and accuracy of a psychic, or dreamseer. Ironic, considering he was almost twenty years younger and more inexperienced in identifying human emotions. But somehow, Fuuma, _Kamui_, was able to rid himself of all emotions, no matter what he displayed on the surface. Seishirou sometimes wondered if that was possible, to loose all emotions.

"You've seen him lately. The one your wish pertains to," the leader of the Dragons of Earth smiled knowingly, danger lurking behind his expression and gestures, as he leaned forward to Seishirou, his large hands tracing the tree servant's jaw line with that manipulative seduction so famous of the other Kamui. So unlike his Subaru, who lacked the art of seduction like a jack-in-the-box lacked subtlety, a fact Seishirou had used to his advantage, "Be careful. Don't get into trouble. He will be the death of you..."

"I'll make sure he isn't," the Sakurazukamori responded with a fake grin. Because if he let Subaru kill him, that was as good as admitting that he loved Subaru. That was what his mother had shown him… that the greatest joy in life was dying by the hands of the one you loved. He didn't want to admit his feelings for the omnyoji to even himself, much less to Fuuma, "Is there something else you wish to tell me?" he said, lowering his voice to a husky drawl as he stroked the back of Fuuma's head. The twin Kamui's liquid amber eyes narrowed.

"What will you do, if he chooses my twin star over you?"

The words cut cleanly into Seishirou as he finally understood the situation. If his Suabru was no longer his…

_What will I do if it's vice versa_- the thought leaked from the younger Harbinger's mind into Seishirou's, and for the first time, the demonic cherry tree slave saw a flicker of emotion in the other's eyes. Shock registered on the teenager's face at his slip, as well as a rainbow of instantaneous emotions- fear, love, betrayal, surprise, revenge, jealousy, inflections of each and every one of his thoughts.

The Sakurazukamori withdrew rapidly, still shocked at the insight that he'd caught from the formerly impassive Fuuma. And then a slow smirk passed over his face, almost reaching up to his white, blind eye.

"I see..." and now it was his turn to reach up to touch the younger man's light-eyed gaze, "You... accuse me of still thinking of the Seal- while you're the one who harbors feelings for the enemy's Kamui... you've made us al think it was an act…how interesting."

Anger flashed clearly in Fuuma's face at the older man's intrusion on his thoughts and sentiments. But then he stood up abruptly, his face dispassionate once again, all signs of his slip gone, "Think about my question."

And with a parting, lingering kiss, that Seishirou despised as much as it made him burn with pleasure and feel something of what he'd lost after Subaru's departure, Fuuma walked out on him, leaving him back to sink into his thoughts and ponder with a dull heartache what would he do if his Subaru was lost to the first Kamui...

Seishirou Sakurazukamori took in another short drag of his cigar.

OoO

Subaru drew in a long drag of the shifting, almost solid white smoke from his cigarette. One slender porcelain-white hand lowered the poisonous stick from his mouth, the other hand firmly enfolding a smaller hand.

The room was dark; the way Subaru liked it best. He smiled lightly, for some reason remembering better times. When he'd liked the sun better than the moon, day over night. Tough times, but better nonetheless. When the Bet was being played out, those had been his most wonderful times. That single year, the one that had changed his life.

He would tell Kamui about Hokuto sometime soon, the emerald-eyed Sumeragi decided. Moreover…maybe sometime he'd tell Kamui about the Bet, and about Seishirou-san.

Just the thought of Seishirou brought about a rainbow of emotions. Betrayal. Love. Hate. Oceans of pain. Lost dreams, and found goals. False goals.

He shook his head, preferring to focus his gaze on the younger boy's sleeping face. Beautiful face, more so than even Subaru's. Closed eyes immersed in fitful sleep. Subaru had the feeling that something was slightly off. At the park, when the taller man had returned with the ice-cream, Kamui had been looking… how to put it? Out of sorts, to use Sora's words. He'd ask about it when the Seal woke up, but for now, Subaru took another drag from his cigarette and stood up, disentwining his hand from Kamui's small one, kissing it lightly before laying it back on the bed.

But then there was a small whimper and theviolet eyes of the second-youngest Dragon of Heaven opened.

"Are you… leaving?"

Subaru blinked, surprised, then his face softened, "No," he said, sitting his slim frame next to Kamui once more and taking his hand again.

"You're amazing, Subaru-kun…" Kamui murmured. The spiritualist glanced up, confused.

"Why?"

"Lots of things… you always make me feel better, whenever I'm around you I feel safe…"

_That's how I felt with Seishirou, safe, and look how that turned out…_ he thought bitterly, but nonetheless, Subaru's gaze softened. This was what he'd been searching for during his work. To make people safe, to help them.

"And you saved yourself from your soul and went back to reality by yourself. You had to help me. Which I have to thank you for as well…"

Subaru remembered that instance well, "You're too kind, Kamui," he said, brushing his lips over Kamui's forehead as the smaller young man blushed.

"Huh?"

"When I told you that Fuuma might remember killing Kotori if you brought him back, you responded by saying that that would tear him in two. But you're the one who's being torn in two…"

"So are you…" the soft words were true, and Subaru could not deny them.

"Shh… we'll talk about it another time. Go back to sleep…"

Kamui obeyed without protest, leaving the omnyoji to ponder over his words as he stroked the Seal's hand.

There was an almost inaudible knock at the door, and Subaru said calmly, "Come in."

With a slow creak, the large doors of the CLAMP school's house opened and a timid Yuzuriha stepped in.

"Back from school?" the taller man greeted. The short-haired girl nodded.

"How's Kamui?"

"…As well as can be expected, I suppose," the other Seal answered truthfully. She nodded.

"That's good. Well, the teacher told me to give him his work, but…" she broke off, unsure of how to go on. It seemed almost superficial to be thinking of something as trivial as schoolwork when there were lives and fates at chance. But she'd been told to give him the message, and so she was.

"Leave it there, I'll work with him on it," Subaru said, trying for her sake to put warmth in his voice. It was almost impossible, as the thread of despair and sorrow had been imprinted too heavily on him, but she seemed to take comfort it in nonetheless, flashing him a smile that somehow brought cheer into that dark room before depositing the papers and pulling the door closed behind her softly.

"A very sweet girl," he murmured to himself, shaking his head at the tragedy.

"And if we all die… could she be spared still?" Smiles like that were worth the world, and he only wished that Kamui and Yuzuriha would live to smile like that. Even Sorata and Arashi, who were only that much older that the other two, and Subaru was senior to them by a number of years, though it was hardly apparent. All four of them still had their whole lives to find happiness and smile. Subaru knew his hopes were over. He'd never smile again, that was a given. He only wished… to die… by Seishirou's hands.

Or at least that's what he'd convinced himself. Made himself tougher, and stronger in an attempt to be able to even _vex_ the Harbinger that lay so close to his shattered heart, to merit death at his hands, and then his life would have been complete, done and over, so that the last thing his waning eyes would see would be the face of the one who held his scorned love. That was his wish… wasn't it?

He was beginning to have doubts. For the first time, he felt like maybe… there was something to live for, and the wish to die wasn't as strong as it once had been. His pale fingers stroked Kamui's hands with increased fervor as his lips reached down to brush the warm forehead, seeking comfort in desperation, needy, almost greedy. He reached now to take Kamui's lips in his own, but Subaru had never been an abusive or forceful lover, and even in the midst of his desperation and whirling thoughts and need of distraction, and something to cling to, he was not abusive or abrasive, and took the gentlest care in tasting the innocence and pain that was almost an integrated part of Kamui's soul.

"Smile for me… always smile…" he wanted to regain in Kamui what he had lost as a child thanks to Seishirou. Suddenly, his wish seemed foolish, to want to die. Granted, he still wished that when he died it was by Seishirou's own hands that he did, but the wish to actually die was waning, fading into another one—to live by Kamui's side, to be with Kamui, to _love_ Kamui, to find himself in Kamui…

Without either realizing it, Kamui was changing Subaru, dispelling the darkness of his soul. It would always remain to a certain extent, even a mind as powerful and strong as the head of the Sumeragi family turned fragile with the weight and torture of living years under the torment of unrequited love and grievance over his sister's death. But the dullness in his eyes was being polished into a new luster, and the ice in his soul was thawing ever so slowly.

His hands ceased searching, and his lips stilled as his body slowed into a content lethargy, and he eased his body next to Kamui's on the bed, letting tears of confusion, sorrow and happiness slip to dampen the covers.

OoO

_Kamui dreamt peacefully for a while, but just as he was beginning to reach a state of tranquility that made sleep the blessing it was without nightmares, a shade of darkness overcame his dream, and the dark-haired boy whirled around, searching for a source to this unnatural interruption of his dream.. _

_He recognized who it was immediately, his heart contracting painfully in his ethereal dream form, even as he continued to search for the figure he knew would appear. _

"_I trust you got my message…"_

_Kamui tensed as the smooth, husky voice whispered in his ear, large arms snaking around his torso to hold it gently. In the distance, the blonde dreamseer of the Harbingers watched with pain and compassion in his eyes as the two warring figures were pulled together. _

"_Fuuma!" the soft breath was barely out of his throat before Fuuma's forehead furrowed behind the Seal's head, and he bit the younger boy's neck sharply, his arms squeezing Kamui's injured chest only a little, but enough to send a pained gasp from Kamui's lips and his breathing to quicken. _

"_Not Fuuma… don't you learn? I am the other Kamui…" _

"_No! You're not… Fuuma's in there, somewhere!" the pained protest was futile, but Kamui would remain strong to his wish and he would fight to get Fuuma back, his Fuuma. He couldn't love the man that held him now, because it was like loving a stranger. He could love the body, because it was Fuuma's, he could gaze into the eyes and face of his former friend and feel his heart tear slowly, but as soon as he saw who it really was behind those amber eyes, it would be in vain. It wasn't really Fuuma, much as he looked at him. Kamui only loved the memory and body of his Fuuma, because the person that his friend had once been was now a stranger. It was painful and tormenting to look at someone you loved, knowing that no matter how much they looked like the one you loved, it was someone different on the inside. _

"_Keep trying… but you will die at my hands…even if your wish is completed…" the low, sadistically loving voice cooed in his ear, pulling Kamui just that much closer to his body, but releasing the pressure on his chest. _

"_I'll give you one month… then, meet me at Nakashogo, with that other little Seal of yours, the Sumeragi. Just the two of you, none of the other Dragons of Heaven. The Sakurazukamori will come as well…" he continued. _

"_A reunion," Kamui's eyes widened. _

"_Exactly, my little Kamui, just the four of us…"_

_There was a flutter of the wind and the gentle, sinister caress of the twin Kamui's hands on the younger boy's face faded away along with the figures of the dreamseer and leader of the Dragons of Earth. _

_The Dragon of Heaven's small-framed body fell to its knees, his head burrowing in his hands, the perfect semblance of despairing hope. What an oxymoron, to have despairing hope…. _

He'd have to tell Subaru now… there was no avoiding or postponing it… 

Hm, did you like? It was odd, but I thought it was actually an okay chapter. So yes, there is Fuuma/Seishirou, but it's very odd, since they're both pretty much heads-over-heels in love with Suby and Kamui-kun, but hey, they're the next best thing to each other. Oh, I'm having a vote/survey on the pairings, so look at the bottom of the page for info.

* * *

**Anyway, next chapter… delve a little into Subaru's past from Kamui's POV (or that may be the chapter after next), they all go to school… em, thanks to Arrhythmic Song's review I'm going to add a little Hokuto look-alike, like I did with Kotori and Kamui… well, I'll see. I really have nothing planned for this fic after the next chapter. **

**Reviewer Responses: **

**Sadaku Sumeragi: I'm glad I updated too. Usually it takes me forever, so yeah. How sad, there should always be a steady amount of Subaru/Kamui –pout- It makes me sad too. I hope Subaru and Kamui were cute in this chapter too, even though they only had a short bit… Thanks for your support! **

**Arrhythmic Song: That is the coolest name… Of course you were mentioned, your gave a great review. Thanks for your ideas, they're great! I am so going to use the Hokuto thing, as mentioned above, and the Suby reminiscing about Sei-chan I will too, but not all _that_ much, since I feel he does that often enough. The omnyojitsu/Sei part I think I'll mention too, but I'm not too sure on how to work with that. But I will have some of it. Those were great, and I'm glad that you responded to my plea, since usually ppl don't cause well, it's someone else's story, so it's hard to come up with ideas, and that type of thing, but your were really helpful. Thanks for everything! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too. Next one will be cute –grin-**

**Angel-Kamui: Of course I complemented, it's the cutest name, and it does fit Kamui so well! He's adorable… -drool fills up huge glass- Wow, thanks, I'm so glad you like my fic so much! Yeah, it'd drive me crazy not to finish a fic cause it'd make me feel horrible, and because it's really a pity… **

**Ginger Ninja: yeah, adding Fuuma in there was a last minute thing, but it fit nicely and I thought it was appropriate. I'm glad you like the little girl part, cause I was wondering what people thought of it… Hope you liked this chapter!**

**Subaru's voice: Yes, eventually there will be some Subaru/Seishirou, as in _physical_ instead of just thoughts. I haven't gotten to it, but it will be there. Thanks a lot for liking it! **

**Chibis Unleashed: My friend commented on how cool your name is! There's a lot of creative names out there… Anyway, aren't they the cutest. Just nod… or drool and nod, or squeal drool and nod! Heehee. I love Oreos! –was munching on some earlier- but I hate milk… I like my Oreos in coke! Yes, I know it's weird, but you have to try it… it's like fizzy soft oreos! Yeah, I still have to actually come up with how and what exactly will happen when Sei and Fuuma interfere, but I have _some_ (in other words, a vague idea) ideas of how to do that… definitely will be emotional, fluffy, angsty, and have PLENTY of all four of our bishies in it. Thank for everything. Did you enjoy the chapter? **

**Faded Justice: Well, I'm really glad you read the first chapter and loved it, hope it means you kept on reading. Well, if you read this then I guess you did, but drop a review and tell me what you thought of the rest of the fic! **

**Chris Pwure: Not cute normally? No! –aghast- thank goodness I snapped you out of that –laughs- Did you keep finding them satisfactorily cute in this chapter too? I always go AW when I read anything with them… I swear, I was reading some other CLAMP fic, and they _Mentioned_ their names, separately, ONCE, and I immediately squealed like crazy and thought of them together, even though they weren't in the fic, they'd just been mentioned here and there. My friend laughed sooo hard at me… so I'm flattered that this fic made you find them cute! And yeah, I was going for that peaceful break between the storm type mood in the last chapter, so I'm glad you noticed it and commented on it. Thanks for your review, and I hope you keep on reading! **

**Shuichi S: Thanks, glad you liked it! I actually don't get it, ppl keep saying I made them a cute couple, but I've read some S/K fics, and they're cute too, maybe not as fluffy and more angsty, but really good too, so I don't understand what makes mine any cuter than those. Maybe I'm just reading the good ones and haven't read the ones that don't make them look good… yes, it is a miracle when he smiles… just like it's a miracle for me to update in time, or for another Dita/Zima fic to come up other than mine… sry, bitter abou that –nervous laugh- And yeah, glad yo commented on the detailing, I work hard at it… Hope you keep on reading!**

**VOTE! What do you want the ending pairings for the END (hence the 'ending' pairings) of the fic to be? Either Kamui/Subaru, Seishirou/Fuuma, with them pining for the other still, OR Kamui/Fuuma, Seishirou/Subaru with a bittersweet parting type thing. **

**Now, this doesn't mean that I will actually _do_ the pairing that wins. It depends on whether I find a good plot, and the pairings that come off of it will be it then. But I'll have ALL of those pairings at some point in the story, so even if it doesn't END with the one you want, there will be a good bit of each. So I guess this is more of a survey than a vote, but it would be helpful, along with any ideas or scenes you think you might like. Remember, I have no real plot outlined for this, so anything is welcomed. **

**Tata, come back when I update!**


	5. Frightened Confessal

**I am the loser of updating :nervous laugh: After a long as heck hiatus, I finally decided to write again. Soo... here's the next chapter! Enjoy! And thanks to all my faithful and kind reviewers-readers who make my day::much love:**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**_Falling_**

* * *

The air was filled with the early-morning babble of noises as students of all ages made their way to school. The campus was a sea of uniformed figures of various heights, the sky a vibrant blue with lazy clouds dotting it.

"Go on, Kamui, or you'll be late for your first day back," Arashi gently pushed the violet-eyed boy forward to where Yuzuriha was standing, talking with a couple friends. Kamui obediently stepped forward before abruptly stopping and blinking.

"Ah… wait…" the priestess watched confusedly as Kamui whirled around past her, going straight to the tall, emerald-eyed man who'd been standing wordlessly behind them.

Subaru blinked out of surprise as Kamui leaned up to kiss his cheek shyly, only being able to reach the bottom of his jaw, a crimson blush staining his face as he then turned around and ran back to Yuzuriha, bookbag bobbing with each of his bouncing steps.

Sora slapped the omnyoji's back playfully, "Well, isn't that sweet? It's nice to see the kid open up like that. You two are good for each other."

Subaru couldn't help but allow some of Sora's infectious grin to rub off on him, and the corner of his lips tugged upward as he raised one pale hand to touch the spot where Kamui's innocent lips had brushed against it.

If only every day could be like that.

_Subaru could feel Kamui's body abruptly begin trembling, and the odd motion roused him from the endless black pit of sleep, where sakuras chased glowing pentagrams, and his sister's voice chided a tall, black-clad figure for not spending enough time with her dear brother, and where blood painted the edge of his vision as a blank unseeing eye bore into the depths of his soul. _

_Far from a nightmare, for these were the usual contents of his dreams, but nonetheless, Subaru did not regret being woken up from them. Kamui wasn't so lucky. The head of the Sumeragi could immediately see that the younger boy was deep in the throes of an unpleasant dream. _

_His pale face, still tinged crimson by the fever, formed soundless words. Subaru tenderly wiped the raven-dark bangs from his forehead, where they stuck to the thin sheen of sweat that had formed. He leaned down to kiss him lightly, but Kamui spoke just as their lips brushed against each other. _

"_Fuuma!" the breathless whisper made Subaru's heart clench, as he raised his head and settled for holding the younger Seal's hand, for more than one reason. He knew better than to break someone's sleep when in the middle of a dream, it was disconcerting and unpleasant, and often caused more shock than relief. Though sometimes, it wouldn't matter if hell woke you up as long as you were out of the one sleep had brought you to. _

_Subaru was surprised at the slight slit of pain that had torn across his heart at the longing that the dark-haired boy's voice had held for the leader of the Harbingers. And it made him wonder, how many times had Kamui not heard Seishirou's name slip from Subaru's unconscious lips in ecstasy and pain? He had no right to be jealous, or pained…_

_Sinning in front of each other, but unable to call out because they were both guilty of the same sin. It was a subject rarely breached without purpose and treaded without caution. For they both knew of their forbidden love that much as they wished, would not come to fruition, and they both knew it was the same for the other, and they both understood the pain and the longing, and maybe that was what had tied them together so strongly. _

_It pained them to know that the other had someone they loved more, but what could they say, when the same was true of themselves? How could one yearn for more than what they had? They couldn't, and so they had turned to each other, and the solace they found in shared feelings was what had sparked the healing light to begin inside their hearts. _

_Now, every once in a while, they wondered if maybe they had been looking at the wrong person this whole time, and if maybe it was time to open their eyes and drink in what had been so mercifully placed next to them. Sometimes they wondered if maybe it was each other to whom they should turn to once and for all. _

_But it was too strong a pull to leave their past behind and the faces that glared out from it. _

_Kamui's eyes suddenly shot open, liquid violet swimming with distress. Thin, shaking hands gripped Subaru's arm with a grip that betrayed his true confusion. _

"_Kamui…?" the boy didn't respond, his eyes staring fixedly at the ceiling as his breath came in short bursts and his hands held onto Subaru as if his support was thinner than the wind, and only Subaru could strengthen it. Subaru stroked his forehead softly, easing him carefully out his confusion with soothing tones. _

"_S-subaru…" Kamui's eyes bore into the omnyoji's, the whirling distress calming into a more gentle stirring. A deep sigh came from deeper still in his chest, and the emerald-eyed Seal waited patiently for Kamui to regain his composure. _

_Running a hand through the younger Seal's silky hair, Subaru watched as Kamui carefully turned on his side, meeting the omnyoji's eyes briefly to convey that he was alright, but aside from that, firmly avoiding the searching emerald gaze, and the questioning murmur of his name. Instead, he curled up close to Subaru, intertwining their hands together and staring at them for a long time. The clock in the room ticked, the sound like miniature explosions in the fatally quiet room. Darkness seemed to inch closer and closer, but still Kamui remained silent, violet eyes focused on their hands. Subaru's fingers twitched marginally at the sudden movement of Kamui's pale thumb stroking the sensitive scar of the inverted pentagram that glowed briefly, a dangerous beacon in the darkness that shimmered with unearthly light. The sight was disturbing, but somehow mesmerizing, much like the Sakurazukamori himself. Subaru's thoughts had begun to stray with images of Seishirou and the emotional void that threatened to overtake him as he fought off the horde of twisting emotions in him when Kamui's voice broke the quiet chaos. _

"_If you had to choose between me and Seishirou… who would you choose?"_

_Silence. _

_It hurt. He'd avoided thinking that ever since the first tendril of war-born caution about emotion had hinted the question at him. He hadn't wanted to think about it and destroy the trust and devotion he felt towards Kamui by choosing one over the other, posing impossibilities that in the end were very much probable but devastating to imagine. He didn't want to think of the stabs his heart was going through and the way shining amethysts glazed with tears at Subaru's apparent abandonment. Violet eyes were still firmly focused on their hands, intense and confused. Subaru wanted to leave, figure out a way to avoid answering… _

_But the question was there, looming at the door of his heart, and it hurt to breathe just thinking about it. What would he do if he had to choose between his heart and his sanity? Both were too painful to leave, so how could he choose one path over another? Without Kamui, he would have lost everything he was, but everything he was, in the end, was Seishirou's. Equal. _

_The clock continued to tick, and Kamui's hand had begun shaking, just a mere trembling that ran underneath his skin, but the older man could feel it, so slight in contrast to the hammering of his own heart. _

"…_I… I don't know." _

_It was the truth, and at the same time a lie. A deceitful truth. He'd be lying if he said he'd choose Kamui but… he didn't want to hurt Kamui, even with the truth. Because the truth was often more painful than the lie, but it was also something Subaru torturously believed in because he wished he knew the truth behind Seishirou's shrouded heart, if there was one. And yet, the decision wouldn't have been without hesitation. And it was the hesitation that surprised Subaru, because he would have thought that in a heartbeat, if he'd had the choice of being Seishirou's—because he knew it'd never be the other way around— he would have taken it. So why the hesitation? Did that mean Kamui had somehow laced his way into the omnyoji's heart, deep where he could breed tranquility and hesitation? _

_Subaru was sure that was the truth, and his heart's responding throb agreed. Though the answer was still Seishirou, the mere fact that there was hesitation and pain at the choice meant something. And that was why his answer was both a truth and a lie, and the best way to protect himself and Kamui. _

_The dark-haired boy's breath came out in a quiet waver, and he smiled, albeit bitterly, "I don't know either." _

_Fuuma. So that was why he'd asked? To reassure himself that he wasn't the only one torn between two people, unable to choose? That he wasn't the only sinner? Subaru wanted to laugh at the odd irony, but instead just gazed softly at the Seal's hidden face and stroked his hair, making Kamui start and look at him with wide, almost scared eyes. _

_Of couse, Kamui was only sixteen, insecurity was a given for a boy his age, even more so in his situation. As if there weren't enough psychological and philosophical problems for him to think about as it was—the end of the Earth? His best friend murdering his sister?—to add to this the emotional confusion of love was too much. Subaru, as a grown adult and an emotional void, felt no insecurity, though he did regret hurting Kamui for loving Seishirou, but he had nothing to prove or show the world. His experiences had given him a sort of stability, which was ironical considering it was because of those experiences that his sanity rode on the petals of the sakura. Kamui though, felt remorse at his predicament, even knowing Subaru was in the same one, and had needed reassurance that he wasn't deliberately wrong, that his confusion was acceptable, that he wasn't purposefully hurting Subaru.. in a way, what he'd needed was proof that Subaru was guilty of hurting him too. A justification for Kamui's guilt. _

_Subaru was sure Kamui had felt pain at his words the same way Subaru had at Kamui's. But that was only fair. Equivalent exchange, was what some would call it. Pain in return for causing someone else's, love in return for having it taken away. The Sumeragi constantly tortured Kamui with the unspoken knowledge that it was the Sakurazukamori that really controlled his thoughts, while Subaru suffered knowing Kamui's mind was in constant craze over his twin star. Kamui's eyes were obscured by raven-tinted bangs, but the dark-haired man frowned to feel the boy's body tense beside him._

"_Do… do you love me… at least a little bit?" a small, almost inaudible question, fear of destroying something unspoken of, and the first time the question had been asked. The young Seal's hand tightened on Subaru's and the omnyoji was filled with pity and a warm rush of emotion that threatened to drown him with its unfamiliarity. He tucked a hand under Kamui's chin, lifting it to look into his eyes, even as his beautiful wavering amethyst eyes continued to emit fear, the kind a four-year-old might at the thought of his parents abandoning him. Abandonment… was that what they were afraid of? _

_His breath ghosted over faintly quivering lips and he knew that if there was one thing he had to make sure Kamui knew, one thing that he could show him without hesitation or confusion, one thing that wasn't tangled up in the strings of Seals and Harbingers, was that he indeed loved him More than his heart understood or his mind would ever consciously grasp, for Kamui was rapidly repairing the broken shards that remained of the Sumeragi, and forever his heart would be joined to the Seal in subconscious gratitude and fervent love. _

"_Kamui…" his words were physical manifestations as they swept over the young boy's lips, gentle feathering brushes of warmth… "More than a little. Without you, I would have remained lost…" he felt the air being sucked past his lips as Kamui drew his breath in, his face heating rapidly underneath Subaru's gentle hands, his eyes wide and innocent, beautiful, worthy of the most pure-hearted angel in the heavens. It was hard to believe that whispered words in the middle of a calm night could have been such an emotional chaos and whirlwind, and that the gentlest flutters of the wind spoke of volumes of pain and love. _

_Kamui lowered his head, pressing his face into Subaru's chest, the warmth spreading over the taller man's skin like lukewarm water. Confusion and desperation woven into the Seal's voice became muffled through the folds of Subaru's shirt, but the trembling of his delicate body was obvious, and Subaru gathered him closer, pressing him gently and burying his face in his hair. _

"_I need you, Subaru… please don't leave me, please! I know I love Fuuma, and I know you have Seishirou, but please stay…" his whisper faded to a mere breath, thin hands grabbing Subaru's wrists almost painfully. _

"_I'll stay with you until the end of the world…" he murmured, lacing his voice into Kamui's ear. Such a romantic phrase under other circumstances, and between common humans, meaning for the rest of eternity, but to them it was a constriction of time, the complete opposite of eternity. _And after that… we'll see… _But at least he'd stay by Kamui's side until then. Only fate would decide where his life would go after that, if there was even one left afterwards…_

"_You will?" His eyes were shining with a mix of anxiety and hope, his voice hitched a breathless octave higher. He was so beautiful, his life so fragile and insecure, and Subaru instinctively leaned down to kiss him, hoping that the world would hold still and the clock would cease ticking, and life wasn't as complicated as their hearts had made it to be. _

"_I will," he repeated. _

There was a zoology book laying open on the table in front of him, and it wasn't until a small bird landed, twittering, on it, that Subaru's mind snapped back from the reverie of two weeks ago. He stared at the bird, standing above the vibrant picture of a falcon violently tearing apart a tiny pigeon. Ironic. He hated irony.He turned his head, and the bird chirped and flew off, only to sit on a branch and stare at him from beady eyes.

For the thousandth time since he'd entered college at the CLAMP Academy, he wondered what was the point of it.He only attended half of the classes, because despite his involvement in the end of the world, and now school apparently, he still had a job. He was an omnyoji, an exorcist. And of course, his all important spot as the head of the Sumeragi family. He was sure as hell not really going to become a zookeeper. He wasn't fit for the job, and it not for him. He had other duties, other dreams now... closer to nightmares.

A short bark of bitter laughter erupted from him suddenly, and he held his head as his sides shook in amusement. A zookeeper! He really had been a naïve little boy, hadn't he? The small bird chirped uneasily and flitted away, and Subaru watched its descent onto another, farther branch with something akin to satisfaction. He didn't deserve to be anything along those lines— caring for animals? He didn't even care about the people he worked for anymore, it hardly made a difference to him whether he got his jobs safely completed or not. If they died, it didn't matter to him anymore. He still tried, but was it his best? A side of him said yes, the unfractured portion that remained of the sixteen-year-old Subaru Sumeragi. But the side that had withered and died, enveloped in a never-ending winter of frost and icicles, said no.

The Sumeragi sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back in the chair as he took another long drag. The smoke spewed out in an unhealthy slithering swirl. If it wasn't for the smell and its danger, the swirling smoke morphing into whatever shapes the wind willed it to was almost hypnotic and beautiful. But the truth superceded the illusion. Why wasn't it so with Seishirou? Why was a part of him still trapped within the illusion that the reasonable side of him said Seishirou was clearly not?

His body shivered involuntarily and he wrenched his mind back to the book lying dejectedly on the table. The anatomy of a bird… he forced himself to focus and instead found his mind wandering onto Kamui. The boy was in school at the moment, they had not seen each other during lunch break as was customary, though Subaru had waited for him. Upon figuring out that Kamui would not appear, he had settled for studying the chapter he had neglected to read during the past week because of work and watching over Kamui. He figured the younger Seal was catching up on all the work that he'd missed as well, and thus had not been able to come meet Subaru.

Another long drag, and Subaru let his mind wander once again.

Ever since that night, things had been oddly tense while at the same time relaxed between him and Kamui. They had decided not to tell the others, at least not yet, if at all. But the constant thought of seeing Seishirou and Fuuma was like a beacon of light calling moths to fire. It was a waiting time bomb, ticking in the back of their heads, and they both urged it to tick faster as well as dreaded the moment when it would explode. Maybe it was the fact that they had both acknowledged their love for another as well as themselves that had eased their relationship. What they had known in the dark was now out in the light, but that was in a way as destructive as not seeing it in light but knowing it was there nonetheless.

They had since talked several times about both Fuuma and Seishirou, and Kamui had expressed his fright and insecurity, while Subaru had learned to become a little bit more human as he listened to Kamui's heart and reflected on the truths he saw there in his own. Subaru had told Kamui more about Seishirou, mulling over his confusion about his feelings and wants, and had come to the conclusion that none of it could be solved without Seishirou himself, just as Kamui could hardly settle anything without Fuuma either. But it was strange, because the reluctance he'd exhibited at talking about Seishirou at first had quickly been washed out by bleak relief. It felt good to air out thoughts that had remained coiled and ready to spring into dangerous action where they could vanish. The darkness wasn't as threatening in the light, and so Subaru had found that maybe expressing things wasn't as bad as he'd thought before. Kamui had been very happy too, at hearing him talk so personally, and Subaru had found that it made him glad too.

He hadn't really realized until that night and the conversations thereafter, how much Kamui really loved and needed him. It was oddly comforting and warmed Subaru with a sort of calm fire that made him want to yield to Kamui and protect him at once. It was calming, like a cool butterfly's touch upon a feverish hand or soothing rain on one's face. The peace of mind he felt with Kamui was something he'd begun to almost _crave_, it was like an addicting drug, one he had not been able to find since Seishirou had stepped into his life, but now found in the small Dragon of Heaven. His heaven. Kamui.

He shook his head and carefully picked up his book again, this time with a much more serene mind and sharper focus. Kamui had once told him that it would make him very happy if Subaru studied something he wanted to, and Subaru figured, if Kamui wanted him to study, who was Subaru to deny him his happiness? After all, if Kamui was happy, Subaru would be too.

* * *

**:coos: They're so cute! Hm... I hope this was up to par with the rest of the fic... if not, tell me? That way I'll know to ... revise this I guess. As for the voting... man, it seems pretty tied (can't remember the actual numbers) But... I think I've sort of decided on the ending pairings ... um... kinda. Meaning, even if one pairing ends up being the ending permanent one, there'll be plenty of all pairings that everyone should be happy. **

**Chris Pwure: Wow, that's a very high compliment. That's the kinda thing that makes me really happy, when I can make someone like a couple they don't normally. :Smiles:**

**Hiromi-chan: Thanks a lot! I hope this chapter was as good :not sure: Subaru-kun came out weird. Lol. **

**Subaru's Voice: Suby and Seishirou are so sad! Someone really needs to write a happy fic with them two, lol. After reading so many screwed and twisted fics of them, I think they need a happy place, lol. Unfortunately, this is not it. They need cookies. **

**Evil Rem: I totally agree! K/S fans need to unite::huggles all four bishies: Even though I love them all in all comMaybe they should make a foursome. O.o .Or not.**

**Arrhythmic Song: I definitelyknow you love SK.: hasread your fics: And I adore them. The fics I mean. And the pairing, course.:eats Oreo happily: That's my favorite kind of cookie! Yay! Hm... I think I've read your fic... the Post-Promised-Day one. :will go check:**

**Tezuka Eiri: It is sad! And... maybe he will, but maybe he won't :won't give away secrets: Butyour reviewwas good food for thought. Thanks!**

**Ginger Ninja: Wow, another incredibly high compliment :blush: I'll do my best to keep that up! I really have a doozy planned, it's just how to actually write it that's got me stumped, ya know?**

**Enchantress: Lol, 'and if they're still alive'. Thank you::huggles Kamui and Subaru:**

**Isabeau6: I'm glad you tried out my fic then. I know there's a lot of SK, but I'll make sure to put in a good amount of SS and FK too. Though it may not happen in the next chapter... :trying to see how to incorporate those pairings into the next chapter:**

**Angel-Kamui::more huggling of SK fans and SK themselves: Thank you!**

**Tessa Marlene::sweatdrop: It might be a good idea to put my fic on Story Alert, cause my updates are very erratic. I hope you liked this chapter! **

**Spazzy Risu: Cute name. :blinks: Wow, thanks a LOT. :bluuush: It actually is my first X fic. I read a bunch of really good fics, and got inspired. I need to do that again... lol. Wow. I am totally flattered at your review, and am so glad you think so. Thanks a lot! Being compared to CLAMP... :giddy: I idolize their stuff like crazy. Lol. **

**Schnickledooger::Blinks: Hey, you reviewed another one of my fics::remembers cause of name she couldn't spell: Lol. Apologies for the lack of SS in this chappie.**

**Katarik: That's a very very good point, and I'll probably incorporate it a lot in the fic, cause it's so true. His everything... :loves how that sounds:**

**Jenjenjen: More KamuiSubaruness! Yay! Thanks a lot!**

**

* * *

**

**Well, I hope you weren't disappointed in this chapter, as always, please comment on any shortcomings of the fic if you find them! Thank you! **


	6. Bickering Jealousies

**Jeez, well, I've been killing myself forcing myself to finally get another chapter out-- I really have no idea where I'm taking this, but I'm trying not to crash, at least. ENJOY after such a LONG wait! **

* * *

****

Falling

* * *

Colors flashed in front of his eyes, a classroom blurred and psychedelic, the shapes shifting into colors and contours that resembled faces—_Fuuma— _or was it Subaru? And then they blended and stretched, and he thought he could see Kotori's heartbroken smile, and a tear that cried itself for his twin star, the golden eyes boring into him before blinding and matching a quiet, soft voice tinged with the undercurrents of sorrow, asking him whether he was going to eat or not. 

"Kamui? Are you going to have lunch?" A pause, and Kamui was brought back to reality with a nauseating jolt, realizing that he was indeed, in his classroom, empty save for the boy standing in front of him, blonde hair mussed and brown eyes whirling with concern, "Kamui-kun, are you alright?"

It took the Seal a moment to answer, feeling disoriented and tired, his chest sore and tender to the touch of the edge of his desk, and he carefully leaned back, taking his time to answer, "Yeah…"

"Are you going to have lunch?" Keiichi repeated patiently, sitting in the desk beside Kamui's. Kamui wasn't sure whether to call him naïve or simply blissfully ignorant. The two went hand in hand, didn't they?

The ebony-haired boy considered it, but he had no appetite, and really, how would the fate of the world be affected by one meal? It was probably the stupidest thought he'd had in a while, but he was exhausted, mentally and physically. It was his first day back, and he had plunged himself into it with the tenacity of one who knows his life is at stake—except it was completely the opposite, since it was because his life was not at stake here that he immersed himself so resolutely into his lessons. It felt like a sort of twisted freedom to be able to do something so mundane as class, surrounded by people ignorant of the great battle that rested solely on the shoulders of a frail classmate, and would decided the fate of the earth… It was a shot of normalcy, a distraction from pain and darkness and the earth's troubles that had somehow diminished to become a young boy's wish to protect his friends, and—Oh God, Fuuma.

"Don't feel like it," he answered quickly, if only to overcome the face that hovered in front of his eyes, a smirk melding with a soft smile that had long ago disappeared in favor of the former. He knew the others would be mad. Yuzu and Sorata would scold him and try to force him to eat under Arashi's silently disapproving gaze, and Subaru… Subaru would quietly reprimand him, watching him… but at the moment he didn't care. Maybe he had pushed himself too hard—his head felt like it was filled with fog, and when he turned too quickly to meet Keiichi's eyes, the room spun slightly.

"You sure? Here, at least have a bite of my sandwich," the blonde offered, mercifully avoiding mentioning anything about Kamui's condition—he'd have to be blind not to see that Kamui was hurt, but he didn't pry, even if his eyes spoke volumes of how badly he wanted to be of use and comfort. Just being a caring presence was enough, but Kamui wasn't sure how to say that—it was preferable not to, he felt, though that could have been simple embarrassment speaking.

The violet-eyed boy chewed slowly, settling his head on his arms, crossed over the desk. He wanted to talk a little, the silence was stifling, but he was so tired…

"You can sleep, you know. You look like you need it," his classmate offered, and Kamui smiled shyly at him, grateful that he understood, even if he knew so little, and didn't question the why's or how's. It was also a smile asking for forgiveness, even if Keiichi would never catch the subtle undertone, because he didn't know. Never would Kamui be able to forget that he had destroyed his friend's family, a regretful casualty in this war of present and future, static and change. It hurt, because it reminded Kamui that it wasn't just the Dragons that were suffering, but innocent victims too, and that Kamui's choice was in truth, so much more than just his own. It made him feel guilt and remorse, and it was a despairing thought to know that he had the power —or was it weakness?— to kill everyone in the world. For if he wasn't strong enough to defeat Fuuma and return him to normal, then… the earth's desire for change would be accomplished, and the population of the earth would perish.

He shoved those thoughts away, and Keiichi's smiling face was replaced by the darkness behind his eyelids, and he relented to sleep. For once, no shadows flittered at the edge of his dreams.

It was Keiichi, of course, who woke him up once the bell rang, though the chatter of students filing in had begun to rouse him anyway. Kamui raised pale arms, still bandaged to hide the scars that had been left imprinted, feeling the numbness being replaced with chilling cold as blood rushed back into their veins.

"Had a good nap?"

Kamui rubbed his eyes and yawned largely before nodding sleepily, "Mm-hmm," he said, turning his head the other way to stare out the window, watching the breeze playing with the tree branches, and the multitude of students heading back into class. Off in the distance, there was Tokyo, but as far as the eye could see from this second story classroom, it was all CLAMP campus, contained within the pentagram. Buildings that would have been visible all throughout Tokyo now lay in shambles, the picturesque silhouette of their city that had been imprinted in the people's minds since young now lacked proper shape. It was like seeing a hand without a finger, the Notre Dame without a tower, a movie without the protagonist's sidekick.

He didn't regret his choice. Not that he could afford to, but it was moments like these, watching his classmates laughing and talking as they walked in, seeing the translucent reflection of Keiichi's concerned face on the window glass, and the city that lay majestically spread before him, making him feel small and awed, like an ant watching a great world unfold, that he was sure that he wanted to keep the present alive, even if the cost was the earth's eventual death. All he do could was have faith that humanity would realize their mistakes and try to correct them. But he would never… regret saving them.

OoOoO

The air seemed weightless, and white smoke drifted to the fancy of the wind, dissipating more and more with each gust. Subaru mused that he was like that smoke. Each gust of life would shatter him irreparably, and eventually, there would be nothing left. He was at the mercy of life, quite simply. Yet, weren't they all? Yes… that was humanity, curling smoke left to be dissolved by life's challenges, until finally there was nothing left but what had originally been there—the air, the earth itself.

The Harbingers would win. Earth would get her change.

A sakura petal drifted by from the trees around him, and he snatched it from the air, opening his palm to look at it disconsolately before placing it on the bench and pressing his cigarette butt onto it. He knew it was only out a childish wish to rebel, but it still brought him satisfaction to watch the glowing ember eating away at the pink that had tainted his life, burning it, slowly, painfully…

Yes, he definitely had changed a lot from that naïve sixteen-year-old he'd once been. And he had no one to thank but the sakura. He lifted his eyes to the sky and breathed in the bitter smoke.

Some time passed, and he couldn't stand the bright sun and fresh air any longer—it was all too ironic and only made him feel antagonistic towards the world, as if damning it for seeming so careless and content and leaving him in the wretched hole that was his self-deprecating soul.

The dimness inside the house took a moment to become accustomed to, but Subaru stalked blindly inside, heading towards the kitchen. The coffee maker brewed noisily, and Subaru removed his hands from the glass container as the boiling water scalded his hands. He put out his cigarette, pushing the glowing side on the side of the sink and flicking the lifeless stump into the trash. He glanced at the clock and sighed to find that it was half past four. He glared sulkily at the tendrils of dark brown that dissolved into the water, berating himself. He'd planned on escorting Kamui back from school, it being his first day back and all, but he'd apparently underestimated the time he'd been outside. How careless of him… and there was no use in going out now, since they should be getting home about now…

The Sumeragi sighed and finally poured himself a cup of coffee, drinking it straight and without the slightest hint of a grimace at the bitter taste. Seishirou drank his coffee straight, and if he did, then damn it, Subaru could too. He didn't care that the thought was only self-destructing, since just as his tongue has lost all sense of feeling, so had his soul, in parallel, become numb to the bitterness. No… maybe numb was not the right word. It had become so immersed in it that it no longer was able to distinguish it from whatever warped emotions were still flitting inside him.

An emerald eye glanced at the clock, unable to admit that it was impatient for Kamui to come and offer distraction to his thoughts.

OoOoO

Golden eyes caught sight of the figure leaning indifferently against the doorway, bathed in shadows, and the break in eye contact signaled an end to Kanoe's usefulness. The lean arms around her were abruptly removed, and she hastily buttoned her shirt and gathered her long hair into something resembling that of a proper secretary's, silently cursing the new arrival that had so untimely interrupted her time with _Kamui_. She was swift in leaving, as everyone knew that what was of no interest to the Harbinger existed at the peril of its extinction.

"This is a surprise. I wasn't expecting you to visit me," Fuuma smiled in that deceptively placating way, while running hungry eyes over the Sakurazukamori. Seishirou pointedly ignored the look, though he knew this was were the visit would ultimately end up anyway, just as it did whenever the visit was vice-versa. But he was unwilling to admit he was bored, and did not care to stalk his Subaru while the Original Twin was anywhere around.

"I thought you might be bored, since there won't be any havoc to wreak anytime soon, until your little reunion is past—" he also would not admit that this reunion had any effect on him, nor that he gave it the least of concerns, as a proper Sakurazukamori, "So I thought we could go to that little crèpe boutique we talked about the other day," he smirked, "I figure you have time, now that I've interrupted your private _rendezvous_ with that woman."

Fuuma grinned as Seishirou continued to pretend he was doing him a favor, when he very well knew that the Sakurazukamori had simply been bored and restless. And of course, it amused him the way Seishirou talked—he had certainly been raised in a high-society family, even if their business was less than socially-appreciated. Private _rendezvous_… please, he might as well have just out right stated he was going to shag the woman.

"She's of no importance to me," the younger man said dismissively, "You, on the other hand…" he left it at that and smiled again, in that way that Seishirou found unnerving and predatory. He supposed the smile was very similar to his own—in fact, with each moment they spent together, Seishirou found some of his mannerisms mimicked by this younger Harbinger, yet with that mysterious flair that was so _Kamui's_, and somehow did not resemble the half-blind man's at all. Nor anyone's, for that matter, and yet they seemed to contain inflections that flashed by others' minds as familiar and remindful of a cherished one's.

"Oh, older women don't interest you?" Seishirou feigned surprise, but ever since that revealing encounter those many days ago, many pieces had fallen into place for the assassin. Yes, it was quite interesting to see that what everyone had thought to be a pretentious interest in the first Kamui had in truth been a well-played _vérité_. Their young leader had eyes for no one other than humanity's savior. Fuuma had no _true_ interest in Seishirou. He figured it was only fair, since Seishirou himself was only concerned with relieving boredom when he sought out his comrade. And even if that were not true, who his toys were interested in had never been, and never would be, of his interest.

Unless they were his Subaru's, and he quickly suppressed a surge of annoyance, wondering why it had even surfaced in the first place. How uncharacteristic. He flicked it off as unimportant, truly had no other choice but to, and turned his eyes back to the other man.

"Not anywhere near what your pentagram-marked toy interests you," Fuuma returned smoothly, letting his hand trail along the older man's arm as he breezed by, and though his innocent smile was anything but, it somehow shockingly resembled Subaru's, sans honesty. Was it the angle, the tilt of the eyes, the youth of the face…?

The smile quickly morphed into a smirk at Seishirou's momentary flash of surprise, "Did I say something wrong?"

Seishirou damned that knowing smirk. It was thoroughly unnerving to have someone eighteen years his junior somehow managing to be even more enigmatic than he was and catch Seishirou off guard. It was impossible, unthinkable. He would have to do something about this.

"You would know best," he answered simply with a careful exhaling of smoke into the younger Harbinger's direction. If there was one thing he had found out about him, was that though he occasionally partook in them, the Twin Star detested cigarettes. He wondered if it was because they were harmful to the Earth, or if because the enemy's Kamui disliked them, for this Kamui had no likes or dislikes that were _his own_. Everything about him was fabricated, and if he was to fabricate personality traits, why make himself vulnerable? No, this dislike had to stem from an external reason. And hence, Seishirou took a particular delight in smoking anytime he was around his leader, "Now, shall we go?"

"Of course, after you."

It happened again. Were Seishirou not so in control of his emotions he would have stopped in shock. Something in the way Fuuma stood submissively waiting for Seishirou to walk ahead was disturbingly similar to that of an onmyouji he knew…

He could not wrap his mind around it… his Subaru-kun and the Twin Kamui were polar opposites, one as sly as the other was shy. Cunning as opposed to coy. So how was it that Fuuma was able to send flashes of remembrance through Seishirou's mind? How was it that actions that in no way _looked_ alike, for it was undeniable that in looks they had nothing in common either, were so strikingly similar?

It was a trick of the Kamui's. That was the only reasonable explanation, and it somehow appeased the strange unease that had risen in his stomach at the feeling that he was being played like a five-stringed _koto_. It was simply an ability bestowed upon this Kamui, that of resemblance. Seishirou had noticed since his first meeting, how this charade-player seemed to possess emotions as one possesses clothing—easily taken on and off. To him, emotions were something he pretended to have, while underneath was the clear understanding that his emotions were like the imprint left on his brain of what it was like to have them—he logically understood them, without the hindrance of a heart to complicate them, and could thus reproduce them to his fancy and desire.

He would make the perfect Sakurazukamori, the assassin mused. Unlike his Subaru-kun…

OoO

"Here's our house," Yuzuriha motioned towards the large house the five seals had been sharing. Keiichi blinked up at it in awe, shifting Kamui's form on his back to a more comfortable position.

"Is he still asleep?" he asked, craning his head to look at the smaller boy slumped over his back. Yuzuriha giggled, reaching out to stroke the Seal's hair affectionately.

"Like a baby," she opened the door, ushering the blonde and his burden in, "This way."

She had planned for Kamui's classmate to drop him in bed, seeing as how Sorata and Arashi had gone to visit Hinoto, and Subaru wasn't often around if Kamui wasn't.

"Kamui!" the two students jumped as they walked past the kitchen, turning to see said Sumeragi's alarmed face, already up and making his way towards them anxiously on the pretense that his Kamui was hurt. The young girl loved seeing flickers of emotion in that one lonely green eye, and even if it was worry, she'd always thought that was one of the most beautiful human emotions, and it helped allay her fears that someday, Subaru would lose himself in the nothingness of emptiness. It was Kamui that had expressed that fear to her, and she silently wished for both of their sakes that it wouldn't happen, and that that worry would always be there to be displayed for Kamui, if no one else.

"He's alright," Yuzuriha put in quickly, patting Kamui's head, who made a childish blubbering noise in return. She and Keiichi laughed, and Subaru relaxed, his steps slowing as he approached them nonethless, as if needing concrete proof that Kamui was indeed alright.

"We were walking home from school," the female Seal explained, "But Kamui got tired and asked if he could rest a bit, but when he did, he fell asleep."

"I walked by and offered to carry him home," the other piped up, blushing as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the front hall with Kamui's body wrapped around his back and his breath tickling his ear. And in front of his friends, no less.

Subaru nodded gratefully to the younger boy, holding his hands out and motioning for the blond to pass him the sleeping boy. Carefully, Kamui was transferred into Subaru's cradling arms, and the half-blinded man simply stood there for a moment, looking softly into Kamui's pale face, completely oblivious to the happening outside of his dreams. Keiichi fidgeted with his hands, his eyes never leaving his dreaming classmate's.

"…Um, is Kamui… is he really alright?" there was such sincere concern in that voice, that the two Seals realized they couldn't lie to someone who so honestly cared about Kamui.

"Well… he had some broken ribs… but he's a lot better now," Yuzuriha offered, and Subaru motioned towards his chest, where the barest hints of bandages could be seen underneath the collar, "It's why we've missed so much school."

The blond boy said nothing, only watching his friend's face sadly. Subaru cleared his throat after a moment, and spoke up almost hesitantly.

"Thank you… for bringing him."

Keiichi muttered something about it being no problem at hall, the tip of his ears going red, and his hand rubbing his head sheepishly. Yuzuriha sneaked a covert glance at Subaru, hiding her smile behind her hand. They'd always known Subaru was a very polite, considerate person, but it was in an aloof, almost indifferent way, and they supposed it was simply because old habits were hard to break, and being raised in such a prestigious family, he didn't really know how to act otherwise, whether he wanted to or not. It was nice to hear such a sincere thanks out of him though, and it was even nicer to know that it was because he appreciated Kamui's wellbeing that he was being sincere. Just like Sorata had said, they really were good for each other. It made her hopeful for the future— Maybe they could truly be happy, and that thought, in turn, made her happy.

As did when Kamui suddenly nuzzled Subaru's chest, muttering his name sleepily, and Subaru turned a spectacular shade of red and quickly excused himself from the two teenagers, one who blinked in surprise while the other fought hard to hold back her laughter until Subaru finally disappeared into Kamui's bedroom.

OoOoO

It was warm, and the gooey sensation slid down his throat sickeningly. He was the one who'd suggested the crèpes in the first place, but now the texture in his mouth was disgusting, and he found himself placing them on the table, opting to watch the passersby of the crowded Tokyo street. Quiet and peace had not been what the two Harbingers were looking for, so they hadn't bothered requesting a table inside the café. Here, cars honked, and angry drivers spat out names to each other. Children cried and begged obnoxiously for a new toy, and spouses looked at other men and women with appreciative eyes before turning back to their own with a nod and smile. A seemingly innocent man walked behind Seishirou, but before he had a chance to reach out and slip a hand inconspicuously into the jacket pocket, the assassin turned his head, boring his single golden eye and that lifeless blind one with chilling ice into the pair insignificant black eyes, and the man backed up, nearly stumbling over another table in his fright. Fuuma smiled, and Seishirou took a sip of his coffee as if nothing had happened.

"This," Fuuma motioned towards the people milling about them, an ocean of ants with two wasps sitting in their midst, waiting to pounce, "Is the humanity that our dearest Seals are trying to save."

Seishirou could be patient. He'd play along with whatever Fuuma had planned, he didn't want to seem too obvious, after all, but it seemed that younger man was steering the conversation towards that direction for him anyway.

"Yes, seems rather foolish, doesn't it? They have no idea what it is that they're _truly_ preserving—greed, hate, lust—the seven sins and everything else that has tainted the people I've killed."

"Your Sakura is well fed, I hope?" Fuuma asked with mild interest, whether fake or real because the Sakurazukamori's relationship with the Sakura tree truly interested him, Seishirou would not know. It threw him off momentarily at the change in conversation—he thought it'd be heading towards the Seals.

"Even the carnage that is now indirectly placed on its roots eventually seeps in. By the end of the world, that tree will be almost blood red."

"That tree blooms year-long, doesn't it?"

Seishirou grinned darkly, because no one else had noticed that—very few people had enough power to. Subaru would have, he was sure, but he had never gone near that tree after that encounter eighteen years ago, when he marked what he had then assumed would only remain a toy. That Bet had never been truly serious, only an amusing past-time, a curiosity. He'd wondered if he could develop feelings if he pretended to have them, and he still adamantly professed he'd not found any that year the Bet had been played out.

That may very well have been true, but only he and Subaru still believed that he had not developed shadowed emotions _after_ the incident. To Fuuma, it was almost comically obvious the deeper drive that pulled the cold-blooded murderer to his naïve counterpart. Oh well, as long as it kept that onmyouji away from _his_ counterpart. It was rather annoying to have Kamui's attention drawn from him by a simple, uninteresting, one-eyed exorcist.

The half-blind man studied _Kamui_ closely, noting with satisfaction the increasingly frustrated edge to the younger boy's finger-drumming, even if his face remained impassively staring out at the street.

"Something on your mind?" he asked with fake concern.

Fuuma cast him a sideway glance, and his smile was like smoke, drifting and clearly translucent. What lay behind it was the hard part to figure out.

"Yes, I was wondering the purpose of this excursion," came the easy lie, and Seishirou bristled underneath at the practiced ease with which Fuuma was able to lead the conversation to expose Seishirou at each moment. Well, regardless...

"Well, if you're that curious, I suppose I wanted to know what you were planning for this reunion you called Subaru-kun and the Original Kamui to. I don't see why I have to be a part of it."

Fumma took a bite of his crèpe, and the chocolate oozed out a dribbled down his chin before a suggestive tongue peeked out to clean it. Seishirou politely kept his gaze from staring, simply because they were in public, and he knew the teenager was only trying to disorient him by tantalizing him. He was only wasting his time, because while Fuuma's sensuality was like dark, slick velvet, it lacked the innocence and self-consciousness that made his Subaru-kun's actions that much more entrancing and fascinating to watch. Even if it was a change of pace.

"I thought it was a fair exchange. You get a chance to keep your toy from mine, and vice-versa, for keeps. Don't tell me it _pleases_ you to see your prey with someone else?" the way he said it suggested he knew it was exactly the opposite, and was clearly teasing the older man about it. Two could play that game.

"Well, it apparently displeases you more, if you went to these lengths to separate them," Seishirou took out a cigarette, lighting it nonchalantly. From the corner of his eye, he could see the slight pursing of Fuuma's lip, and he continued mercilessly, "I can see why the First Kamui would choose Subaru-kun over you, you're quite the jealous lover."

Fuuma's cool response was betrayed by the short snarl that flicked the end, "I suppose it's another reason that keeps you stalking the Sumeragi constantly, then?"

"One always keeps their eyes on their prey," came the slightly uneasy answer, but the older man was confident of having the upper-hand for once.

"Even if you only have one to speak of," Fuuma bit back, but it was probably as childish a comment as he could make at this point, since it wasn't like the assassin cared in the least. Seishirou reveled in the pleasure of needling the great Harbinger Kamui, exhaling smoke leisurely in his direction to cover the smirk on his face.

"If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a soon to be missing politician," Seishirou granted him a pleasant smile, which was met by a smoldering glare, "But I think I will go along with your plan; as you said, it _is_ a fair exchange."

Fuuma watched the older man leave their money on the table, and in a flash, was no longer there, swallowed by the Tokyo crowd. He sneered at nothing in particular, half out of irritation, half from superiority. The Sakurazukamori may have thought he'd left with the upper hand, but he had just agreed to Fuuma's plan, had he not?

* * *

**Interestingly, I really liked writing Seishirou and Fuuma's interaction, they're really bizarre. But, uh... I know there wasn't much fluff in here, nor as angsty as usual, but ... well, you know, it's soo hard to get back into the rhythm of a fic you haven't worked on in forever. But I'll definitely do better with the next chapter, now that I've kinda gotten back into the groove. Review!**


End file.
